Stardonic

Senor Justin Surya, the young man who made Kushi, then Kushi, and then Kushi again before moving on to starring in sleazy comedies (that sleaze hungry Tamil dudes lapped up like there was no tomorrow) believes in laughing his problems off.

Question: The last few movies you made have tanked. Vijay has dropped out of your next project. We hear reports that you are very frustrated.

 

Answer: That is hilarious.

Question: Several magazines have reported that you’ve turned into a psycho who tortures people?

Answer: Sinister, loud laughter. Let them write what they want. Ha! Ha! Ha! [Link, subscription required]

We at SilverScreen don’t get the joke at all. However, we will state for the record that we are very disconcerted by his obsession with facial hair.

Continue reading ‘Humble Pie’

A few months ago, Indian newspapers sounded so happy and proud to report that the Princess of Pop was spotted at a Hindu temple in California. Some went so far as to see it part of something bigger:

“an event that in isolation may be trivial enough, but as part of a canvass of occurrences that put the spotlight on Hinduism in the international arena, is representative.” [Link]

Wonder if they now feel heart-broken over what she says:

[Spears] told Newsweek that she’s “been into a lot of Indian spiritual religions,” although she ran into trouble when asked whether Hinduism was one of them. “What’s that?” she asked. “Is it like Kabbalah?” [Link]

Hollywood Actresses Britney

Hollywood Actresses Britney

This is the most exciting thing we’ve read in a long time. Namitha, the plump, cushy, slightly rotund… ok, ok, ok. Let me start over again.

This is the most exciting thing we’ve read in a long time. Namitha, the fat girl who acts in Tamil cinema is now going to make a grand entry into Hollywood. All hundred kilograms of her.

A smart career move that we welcome wholeheartedly and will be covering nonstop on this blog.

The movie has been titled Maya and would be produced by Global One Studios and would be directed by Eric (Manning) with Ashok Kumar cranking the camera [Link]

Some jealous people have tried to play down this achievement of Namitha, claiming that the director has only directed a Hollywood short film before. Who cares? Just look at the pedigree of the rest of the crew.

Ashok Kumar, the cinematographer of the movie also directs movies. His filmography includes such classics like Kaama, Kaamagni and Khajuraho.

Continue reading ‘You Go Girl!’

You know what’s sad?

Couple of boys sitting in alternate seats at the Melody/Woodlands theaters, hoping for any pretty girl to fill the void in the seating arrangement…and their loveless lives.

In my defense, I was only 15 then.

You know what’s sadder?

An actor, who delivered his first hit when he was 17 (and then some) is now shooting two movies hoping some girl would fill the void in casting…that of heroine.

Though pujas for many of his movies kicked of this year, only two are being canned–Pulan Visaranai II and Petrol. The funny thing is for both the movies they have not finalized the heroines. Only his solo shots are being canned. {Link}

Andy Dufresne would be proud.

Poor Katrina Kaif. Apparently, she was dancing on the sets of this movie called Anees Bazmee’s Welcome and her sandals broke. And then she danced again, and the sandals broke again. Where normal humans would’ve lost their cool, Kaif makes horrid jokes instead.

Kat’s wry humour bursts forth, as she tells her make-up lady, “The designer must have got these sandals at a toy shop!”… [Link]

Wry humor alright.

But our beef is not with Katrina, it is with Mid-Day. So this cameramen sees a girl in a “lime-green strappy number, with gold embroidery, hopping around on one foot” and this is the best picture he can get? Was wry humor the only thing bursting forth? Gad. Fire him already, will ya.

Courtesy Mid-Day

Wait, we have more.

Continue reading ‘Questions’

Both major Tamil weeklies this week open with a story that makes us deliriously happy. Apparently, Simbu – the man in the picture to the left – is reported to be high heels over head in love with our buxom mascot, Nayanthara. In real life, no less. And (knock on wood) the feeling is reported to be mutual, although she doesn’t wear high heels when he is around.

Now if only this were true, and the couple marry and she retires from movies like other buxom mascots, this blog will be closed for posts on the day of the wedding. Every single year till the divorce. And in an incredibly special gesture, Manoj has promised to replace the Ileana picture in his wallet with Simbu’s for a day. The studmuffin deserves it for his service to Tamil filmdom.

In his interview to Kumudam, Simbu all but acknowledges the rumors.

We are special friends. When I am around her, I feel something that I haven’t felt around other girls. She is certainly special.

Naturally, skeptic readers may think this is a just a publicity stunt to promote their upcoming movie. We at SilverScreen would like to reassure them that there is a lot of truth to the news. In fact, the two of them are so alike, it is a miracle they didn’t get together sooner. Consider this example.

Continue reading ‘A Tongue In Teeth Romance’

We firmly believe that Minissha Lamba, the Yahaan girl, as folks insist on telling us, will soon be known for much, much more.

I am surely obsessed with my growing hips. I want them to grow much bigger than they are. And that’s the reason I love doing all those things, which will make my hip bigger and bigger. I feel there is nothing wrong in having bigger hips.[Link]

I am not against the skin show if it is done without any compromise. I love playing characters that runs around tress and frolic in romantic situations… [Link]

Hat Tip: Amit Varma [Link]

Since the days of Raj Kapoor, we’ve been exporting talent and beauty to Bollywood. Take a moment to consider this wall of fame.

Personally, I used to feel a sense of loss – a nagging thought that all these talented actors and actresses were somehow spirited away, seduced by the moolah and the opportunities to sing and dance in Gstaad.

Clearly, I was too hasty in thinking of all this as being an exodus. I know better now. It’s all part of a truly diabolical scheme – something larger, grander than I’d ever dared to imagine. Every dusky beauty we’ve let them have, every hunk with a sweet smile – Trojan horses, every single one of ‘em.

This is what they’re going to get, soon!

To listen to the newest Bollywood star perform in the Rashtrabhasha, click here.

In a blistering piece of burning-truth journalism, Sify declares that ‘Ileana is important’. Pfffft, say it along with me Karthik – We know!

And how important is she?

…there is tremendous pressure on her to do the Tamil remake of Pokiri opposite Tamil superstar Vijay. Link

Pressure, as in, shameless grovelling by producers wearing I heart Ileana T-shirts (made in Florida). The article also mentions that she might give other actresses a run for their money, or as Nayantara calls it, a much needed workout.

As election results are announced, the film industry in Madras is said to be all aflutter. Having gone all out to campaign for the losing side, they’re apparently nervous about what’s in store for them under the new regime. So this finger phenomenon apparently does not

mean, “Here, I’ll scratch your back and you can scratch mine.” We live and we learn.

In other news, our very own bete noire was urged to look sexier (wow – how come we never thought of this before? If you want someone to look sexy, all you have to is ask!)

In Bollywood, ask anyone to name their favorite Bhatt classic and you’ll hear them say – “Why? All his autobiographical films of course, and *wink wink* Jennifer Lopez’s too. Get it? Bhatt-Butt?” If you can ignore the tasteless joke, you’ll realize it’s true.

Hop on a time machine, and you could watch Mahesh Bhatt’s past in Eastman Color and marvel at his phillum-like life (while you’re there tell me that Neelima is not interested in me). Which is why Bhatt-saab didn’t make just one, but three autobiographical movies. Except…he got drunk, a lot, while making them and left daughter Pooja Bhatt with a definitely weird childhood that has her speaking at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting years later about what it meant to have an alcoholic father around.

But Bhatt that she is, an emotional speech is but a trailer for what will follow.

Continue reading ‘Know your Bhatts’

After making the Japs swoon, we’re now making the Polish weep. [Link] Aren’t we a fortunate lot to experience the golden years of Indian cinema!

To call yourself a fan of Indian movies is far more demanding than eating the occasional vindaloo and samosa and calling yourself an Indian foodie.

Everyone knows how much store Indians set by their gurus. Digression: let that be lesson no.1. A typical Indian Guru has almost nothing to do with Marisa Tomei or Heather Graham. And ladies, the guru typically looks less like Jimi Mistry, and more like him. End digression. So, pay heed to the voice of experience:

Continue reading ‘So, you want to watch Indian movies, eh?’

Trisha, the ‘Numero Uno’ actress of south India, is celebrating her birthday today. She is shooting for Bheema and a Telugu film simultaneously in Hyderabad, where she has been holed up for the last 10 days.

… Jesi, a resident of Chennai and one of her crazy fans along with some other women activists celebrated her birthday in style by putting up huge banners at various vantage points in the city that read – “Happy Birthday Trisha – our dream angel” and had even conducted paal abhishekam ( poured milk on it) for her picture in front of Kamala theatre. [Link]

A SilverScreen reporter managed to get a few soundbytes out of one of the activists.

“Why milk?”

“We wanted to see if it would make her clothes transparent.”

“Well, did it?”

“It actually made her clothes pretty soggy, and tore her blouse off.”

“Great, what happened then?”

“We realized it wasn’t a big deal, and went off to burn banners of Perarasu. That was way more fun. Why don’t you write about it?”

“We sure will.”

Continue reading ‘Pouring Hot And Cold’

Arshad Warsi, actor, proving that Ms. Sheernaz Hussain isn’t the only delusional ass in Bollywood.

This is where my acting talent comes in — you see me behaving normally, with a big smile on my face, but in reality, my head is in a whirl and my stomach is hurting badly…” [Link]

I know hanging out with Sanjay Dutt is bound to inflate your self worth, but this much? Remarkable.

Continue reading ‘Speech Is Silver’

Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be in Mumbai on April 23 to promote her er… music album ‘Rebirth’ besides her other works including charity. And I thought – That’s a double whammy. She’ll raise money and levels of musical mediocrity in Bollywood.

Hollywood’s ambassador to Bollywood and founder of www.hollywood.tv, Sheernaz Hasan, who spoke to Lopez’s management, has confirmed her date with Mumbai. “Yes it’s for sure she is definitely performing in Mumbai this time. Like I had always said Hollywood is looking up to India and Bollywood in a very big way, it’s my mission to promote Bollywood in Hollywood, and this is just the beginning,” Hasan said. Link

Turns out Ms. Hasan was a delusional ass. Not as big as you know what, but still.

Continue reading ‘J-Lo in Mumbai’

The moment I saw an article about someone called Amita Chandekar, I was stunned. Here’s a ravishing, long legged lass with a hidden passion, and I’d never heard of her before. Shame on Manoj.

Acting isn’t the only passion for Amita Chandekar. The long-legged lass likes spending her free time with a paper and pencil in hand. [Link]

I got over my disappointment and kept reading…

Continue reading ‘Art for the sake of art’

It is widely believed that Nishabd, Ram Gopal Varma’s next movie starring Amitabh Bachchan is loosely based on Nabokov’s Lolita.

The film revolves around a 54-year old married man, played by Bachchan who falls in love with a girl, 36 years younger than him. Newcomer, Jia will play Bachchan’s love interest. They believe that a new face will make the character more believable. [Link]

However, amid mounting criticism, Varma has denied that it is a Lolita remake.

Continue reading ‘Lolita in Hindi’

Images courtesy vikatan.com

What is life?

Since Deepak Chopra was too busy rewriting the Kama Sutra, someone decided to ask Vidya Balan instead. The Parineeta girl tells us,

I was originally slated to do Run in Tamil. After the first photosession, they replaced me with Meera Jasmine.

Then I was booked for a movie called Manasellam in Tamil. This time I lasted upto the first schedule before they called me not photogenic and replaced me with Trisha. They said this even though I was well known in modeling circles for my beauty.

Now, they are after me to star opposite Kamalhassan in his latest.

That is life. [Link, requires paid subscription]

Oh, thank you, you poor photogenic vixen. That’s philosophy even we get.

Meanwhile, our reporters tell us that Vidya was also originally slated to do Godfather in Tamil. But then, true to form, she was replaced by the person shown in this picture. I like Vidya, but I think that in this case the replacement is surely hotter than her.

In 1995, there was DDLJ. In 2006, it’s MPLJ, a refreshing take on the Laila-Majnu story. The premise, the rumor mills say, is intriguing – the lovely Laila jumps, while the athletic Majnu pumps. Genius.

The B-grade movie brigade mainly manages to attract their target audience through sleazy posters and titillating titles. One such movie title happens to be Majnu Pumping Laila Jumping that has created quite a buzz

{Source}

Bi-weekly Silverscreen Tip
Useful Acronyms : AC/DC, SRT and BRB
Useless Acronyms : FMC, WIFPA, IMPPA and ROTFLMAO