Madhu is a new Tamil movie starring Priya Mani and Ramesh, an up and coming star who is the son of a really rich producer. Reviews have described the movie as “leaving the audience feel desensitized and dehydrated,” but it is quite educational in our opinion. We’ve always struggled to explain the concept of a “punch dialog” to our wide international audience, but Madhu comes to our rescue with this scene, entirely in English.
Girl teases a boy. Boy responds by approaching the girl, and kissing her in public while the camera looks elsewhere. After the kiss, boy speaks.
She says her mobile phone is bombarded with SMS messages and you could guess what kind of messages they would be. Passes at her, proposals for dates and dinners or plain romantic mush.
Even someone with half-a-brain would start guessing – The Rai woman? Our poster-girl Ileana? Kaavya Vishwanathan complaining about “unknown calls” from Chennai? Or Celina Jaitley, who recently renounced mobile communications?
I (Celina) don’t like to use my cell phone when I’m at work; I think it’s very disturbing. In fact, I don’t even carry my phone on my shoots. [Link]
Wrong. Why would anyone ever make a pass at Ileana? And have you seen Aishwarya lately? And Celina…prancing about in her mini skirts & skimpy bikinis. *puke*
No, this is closer to home (if you live in Kodambakkam). This is what sultry seductress Gopika has to go through everyday. That’s right, I said Gopika. And the messages do not just originate from the phones of adolescent boys captivated by this Mallu chechi.
She also says,”there are several actors who have sent me such messages, but I won’t tell their names as my career is at stake. [Link]
Gopika and her bindi in another trend-setting outfit
I admit it, my first thought was – what career? But I guess I’m also curious about what actor. I mean seriously dude – If you’re going to be a pathetic sleaze, at least raise your bar. Contact us and we’ll let you have Trisha’s number for a bit part in your next movie. Oh! you thought only you could be pathetic?
……….
Speaking of cellphones, someone sent Ex-MP and Why-Actor, Sarath Kumar an obscene SMS. Link
Sir, the person who sent the message would like to clarify that Sperm* is actually SMS speak for ‘Supreme Star’.
The Hindustan Times Tabloid – our reliable news source of the day – reports that police are trying to determine if a recent accident in New Delhi could’ve been a suicide in disguise. At least, that’s what we think the report says… it is mostly a series of commas punctuated by the occasional word.
The recent Honda burning case, in the capital, has left everyone in a state of tizzy. Mystery shrouds as to whether it was God, who fulfilled the desire of lovebirds to end their lives together, whose charred bodies were found inside a totally burnt Honda City car few backs. [Link]
But here is what interests us the most. Apparently, the last thing the couple did was watch Fanaa.
The suicide note dated May 24 further revealed their plan to go and see the much-hyped movie Fanaa on Sunday (May 28) and further states that it is only God who knows what would happen next. [Link]
We shudder to think what they would’ve done if they’d watched Garam Masala instead. (And thank you so much for not mentioning Neal ‘N’ Nikki in our presence.)
We hear that the pride and joy of Tamil cinema is about to do a French movie! [Link]
Just think of the infinite ways French society is about to benefit – for starters, what they’re about to learn in terms of Fashion alone is surely worth his weight in conflict diamonds! No more boring pin stripes, and white shirts. If you have any hopes of making it in the fashion business repeat this to yourself at least 50 times a day, “Orange is the new black!” and let’s not forget that there’s so much you can do with hair.
And ladies, when you accompany a well-dressed man of the world, please get a grip on yourself! Monochrome is so last year – this year, it’s Multichrome, baby! And if you can throw on a wig, we promise you’ll be throwing telephones in no time at all. [Link]
What a well read hunk! And what a great pair these two would make… Obviously, they will never cheat on each other, and (equally obviously) they’ll produce some very ethical kids.
Talk about matches made in heaven…
Pooja, who is Arya?s heroine in his next movie. If you want Arya pictures, look for them yourself.
GreatAndhra.com is quite possibly our favorite news source. While severalpublications have published pictures of a blonde Rajinikanth and a blonder Shriya romping around in Spain, only GreatAndhra bothered to let us know just how aroused the “artistic settings” at the shooting spot were.
The huge erections of artistic settings, gigantic cranes, troupes of dancers from Britain were circled in the surroundings of the shooting spot turning the heads of all the people living nearby. [Link]
Who can resist a good peek at a horny prop? Is it any wonder then that Shriya started to respond?
Shriya accompanied him with her new gesticulations. [Link]
Poor Koena Mitra. People keep dissing her for going under the knife, but little do they realize that it was her troubled childhood that forced her into it.
… when she was growing up she was totally tomboyish. In fact, for her first day at school, she was dressed up as a boy by her father. Her father loved to dress her up as a boy. Sneakers, T-Shirts and shorts were part of her daily wear as well as short hair.
That was until disaster (in a miniscule sense) struck. One typical day at school, Koena wanted to go to the loo and the school bai took her there. Only thing was that the bai was so convinced that Koena was a boy that she took her to the boy’s toilet. No matter how much Koena cried at the top of her lungs claiming to be a girl, the bai refused to listen. [Link]
Such trauma. Tch. Tch. (And Mr. Reporter – Calling this miniscule betrays an appaling lack of sympathy…) At the very instant, Koena decided that she had to appear more feminine.
Koena was so embarrassed, that she immediately went home and asked her mother to make her look like a girl. So her mother put on clip earrings, plastic bangles and a very pretty dress. [Link]
We presume she was only partly happy with the results, so when she grew up, she went to a doctor and asked him to make her look a bit more – ahem – feminine. Fair enough, right? (LinkLink) As a man, I only know too well how traumatic it is to enter a women’s restroom. After the experience, my hands promptly went under the teacher’s cane. Teacher’s Cane. Doctor’s knife. Same difference.
And so, on behalf of all men, I would like to apologize to Koena and let her know that we all understand totally.
Koena Mitra, who only only hangs out with very “feminine” stars these days…
Suresh Gopi has done so many cop roles that he probably walks around wearing crunchy-shiny boots and saluting surprised DSP’s. Maybe even offers to look over F.I.R reports for the local circle inspector. Maybe.
Or maybe he is not all that deluded and like a normal star, prefers to have affairs with co-stars half his age & weight.
You are said to have an roaring affair with the young actress Mamta Mohandas?
These stories are a figment of imagination of some vested interest who are all out to spoil the reputation of an upcoming actress. I have nothing more to say about this. Link
Mamta ‘the only Mallu girl we like’ Mohandas
Funny. So I guess his reputation is still intact or maybe even improved. And why?
The lip-to-lip kissing scene in Lanka (with the ‘upcoming actress’) was criticized by purists in Kerala. Your comments?
Lanka failed as the story did not reach out to the people in the correct manner. If that was possible, the same audience would have accepted not only this 3 minute kissing scene but a 10 minutes one (smiles). Link
He failed to add that correct manner was Malayalam movie jargon for ‘so high on ganja that audiences think they are making out with Mamta Mohandas’. But since the story was incorrectly mannered, so to speak, the same audience throw up a little every time they see a Suresh Gopi poster. Right after they salute it.
Eight memorable incidents from your life… 
