Stardonic

Alright, I’ll come out and say it: We are getting implants. And we’ll see you soon with something curvier. Until then, our botox injected frontpage will not change.

(Video from Mujse Shaadi Karogi)

Jiah Khan, star of Nishabd, has a special talent it seems.

… when Jiah told Bachchan he smelt good and recognised the brand he was wearing, he brushed the compliment aside and thought it was mere guesswork.

But when the 19-year-old started rattling off brand names that Bachchan wore everyday, the superstar got a tad bit nervous and suspected that Jiah was going through his toiletries!

And then the mystery unfolded. Apparently, Jiah had done a short stint in a perfume factory and had a good nose for perfumes and could recognise any famous brand of perfume or cologne with just a sniff.

Jiah’s talent for spotting smelly things was never in question, was it? She picked a Ram Gopal Varma movie to debut, for chrissake.

She says Bachchan has an amazing collection of cologne and he would sport a new brand everyday during the shooting of Nishabd. [Link]

And why is this a big deal again? If I stunk half as much as Amitabh Bachchan did in Black, I would go out and buy myself a lot of cologne too. And yeah, I’d gladly let Jiah smell me.

Pictures through http://celebworld.wordpress.com/tag/bollywood/jiah-khan/

Sushmita Sen has a craving for marriage, and here she expresses herself eloquently:

“I have always craved for marriage,” Tuesday’s Hindustan Times newspaper quoted her as saying. “I’ve always been a home-lover despite living a very public life.” [Link]

And then, she sends a message to Aliens by talking to them in some sort of strange language that only they can understand.

“I believe all relationships you go through in life are actually a part of that cosmic design where love and marriage finally finds you,” she said. “I believe that will happen to me as well.” [Link]

I don’t know what she said there, but I think it worked, because Shah Rukh Khan signed her for his next movie. Don’t believe me still? Salman Khan is in that movie too. So there.

Close on the heels of Namitha losing her cellphone to a crow, actor Srikanth seems to have lost his too.

While Namita and Vindhya lost their cell phones earlier, in a recent film event actor Srikanth was stripped off his gizmo… . While Namita and Vindhya lost their cell phones earlier, in a recent film event actor Srikanth was stripped off his gizmo. [Link]

[...] an expensive cell phone, which was reportedly worth Rs. 40 thousand. [Link]

We’ve heard rumors that crows have called up several people in Chennai pretending to be Srikanth and Namitha, and no one can tell the difference. When the next Namitha movie comes out, look carefully: if she seems to be acting better than usual, it is probably the crow you are looking at. And when the next Srikanth movie comes out … yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.

First photo through http://www.andhimazhai.com

There is this very clever show on radio in Mumbai, called Musical-E-Azam. Occasionally, when the station wants to service their microphones, they get Shankar Mahadevan into the studios to yell questions. And this time, the recipient of all that noise was Sonu Nigam, who shouts back garbage in return.

When did the two of you first meet?

Sonu: Shankar is cool mind stroke person. [Link]

What in the name of God is that supposed to mean? That Shankar strokes his mind? And why would that be cool? That seems like such a dumb thing to do, stroking your mind. Aren’t there better things to stroke out there?

Shankar: You are very religious and superstitious, isn’t it?

Sonu: No. Spiritual is an exaggerated word. I am not superstitious. I believe in mind over matter. I think a lot. [Link]

Oh yeah, we all so totally get it man. You are just spewing out juvenile crap in the hopes that Angelina Jolie will adopt you, right? Don’t even bother, because I am told she’ll only consider actual children. And even if she relaxes the rule, she’ll pick John Abraham over you any day.

Shankar: Tell us about the Himalayas.

Sonu: [...] At one time, I heard the sound of some animals. I was not sure which animal… tiger, deer, snow leopard or a jackal. I kept a knife and spray in my hand for 30 minutes. After waiting for that animal, I realised that I felt the animal didn’t know I am a Sonu Nigam but his food. I realised that I was a piece of meat for him. It was a very important lesson of life. [Link]

If that’s the most important lesson you learnt, what were you up to in your zoology class, huh? That class where they taught you that tigers and deer and jackals make different types of sounds.

Shankar: Chicks are after you since then?

Sonu: I don’t trust chicks these days. These days, chicks are after everyone (laughs).

Chicks. I don’t know why, but that makes me want to go stroke my mind now. Hard.

(Pics through http://bestofangelinajolie.com)

Did you guys read this?

Celina Jaitley spotted Raima Sen settling her luggage at the waiting lounge.

What followed was a reunion of sorts.

The pretty actresses literally jumped around like schoolgirls, indulging in some air kissing and hugging before heading for their respective destinations. [Link]

Whoa. What were these respective destinations? Who else went with them? How do I get there? Why are my eyes glazing over now? Dang.

Kangana Ranaut, “next hottest thing in Bollywood,” had a harrowing experience last month. She was told that she was the recipient of something called the Sabsey Favorite Nayi Heroine award, but when she showed up late at the venue, the organizers had decided to give the award to Soha Ali Khan instead.

“I was told to stay on and that my trophy would be sent to me at home. I sat through the rest of the function without knowing that my award had been given to someone else. I didn’t even know Soha got the award until a friend phoned to say so. It’s rather sad and funny,” said Kangana, who made an impressive debut with “Gangster – A Love Story” this year. [Link]

So when Kangana headed to Kuala Lumpur to receive her best actress award at GIFA, she was understandably worried. What if the organizers decided to give the award to Hrithik Roshan for Krrish instead? Thankfully, nothing of that sort happened, and an elated Kangana decided to hit on Hrithik instead.

After GIFA Kangana has become a huge fan of Hrithik Roshan. “In a world filled with dishonourable intentions Hrithik is such a thorough genteleman. He knows how to make a lady feel special. He spoke to me as if I was the best actress in the world.

I think his wife is very very lucky?Where can I find a husband like that?” sighs Kangana who has no one that special in her life. [Link]

And now, Kangana went to the Dubai Festival where she ran into Jesse Metcalfe, who is some type of male person, I think. And promptly enough,

Whispers Kangana, “I’ve had a secret crush on Jesse whose name I didn’t know. But like any 19-year old my heart would kip beats when he seduced Eva Longoria in Desperate Housewives. I’d wish he’d seduce me. And now there he was sitting right in the row in front of me at the premiere of Emilio Estavez’s new film Bobby…” [Link]

Damn, this girl is dangerous. Next time she heads to Florida, I’ll have to make an effort to stay out of sight. You guys will be ok though – most of you aren’t as handsome as me.

Sandhya and Sneha, bless their souls, were returning home on New Year’s Eve when disaster seems to have struck. Sandhya’s rickety old car somehow managed to entangle itself in some quality Chennai slush.

After completing their commitments for a private television channel for a new-year day programme, both Sneha and Sandhya were returning on the ECR in their car. Unfortunately Sandhya’s car got struck and it could not be moved. It was Sneha who rushed to Sandhya’s rescue. [Link]

“Auntyji, if you ever have a flat, give me a call. I got several tires I can spare,” a grateful Sandhya is reported to have said to Sneha before leaving.

The hottest news out of Chennai today is that there was some sort of fire at the house of actor Vijayakumar. Vijayakumar, incidentally, has four kids, all of whom have been in movies at one time or the other. The kids managed to land roles mostly because of Vijayakumar calling in debts from his old producers.

“Remember when I acted in your movie? I acted so much in that role, you owe me big. Now please give my daughter a role, even though she can’t act. After ten movies, we’ll be even.”

If I know my math, there is still a lot of roles left to collect, especially from the producer of Kizhakku Cheemyile. Anyways, here is what happened yesterday:

Fire broke out in the house of actor Vijayakumar at Ekkaduthangal in Chennai on Tuesday. The actor was living in the house along with his son Arun Vijay, who got married recently.

Arun Vijay was the one who saw the billowing flames emanating from the bedroom in the first floor of the office. He immediately alerted Fire Service personnel.

Fire and Rescue Service personnel reached the spot and doused the fire. [Link]

Investigators can safely rule out members of Vijaykumar’s household as possible arsonists. They just aren’t that hot, plus Sridevi was probably shooting in Hyderabad…. On second thoughts, investigators should probably try to find out why the fire didn’t die by itself when it looked at Arun Vijay. I think there might be a Nobel in there somewhere.

In an interview with the Hindustan Times, Ayesha Takia lets people know what she has inside of her.

Of course, I have a killer instinct. [Link]

Umm… I hate to rub it in, but I had known about this for a long, long time. As a matter of fact, I even know where she hides her killer instinct. It is hard to miss, once you know where to look.

Photos through bollyimages.com

Nishabd , the Ram Gopal Varma masterpiece to be, has been wrapped up last month. I think that means it is like done or something. Sadly though, things aren’t looking too good for Nishabd.

Firstly, Amitabh Bachchan sings a song for the movie.

Varma can’t stop raving. “You’ve to hear how Mr Bachchan sounds in the number. When I heard him do the song in Baabul I thought that was the ultimate. But after hearing him sing Vishal’s song in my Nishabd I’ve decided this is his best song ever…” [Link]

I so want to believe that, except:

Ironically the Big B maintains he’s not a singer. “I don’t know how to sing. I never did. Earlier too when I sang for Silsila (Neela aasman so gaya) I cringed. Even now my reaction is the same”. [Link]

You hit the nail on its head, sir. Now may I please request you to watch a few of your movies, say, Boom and Baabul? Do let us know what you think…

And secondly, Nishabd is up against some stiff competition.

… it comes as a surprise to see the pace go down for the publicity of ‘Nishabd’. The promos that had arrived with a bang are suddenly finding them extinct with the promotion of some other films taking precedence over it. A movie that appeared to be coming to the town soon now seems to have gone slow.

One wonders if ‘Nishabd’ would eventually arrive in an anyways overcrowded February that has confirmed releases like Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd., Traffic Signal, Eklavya – The Royal Guard, Shakalaka Boom Boom and Metro lined up. [Link]

Is there any way a movie can compete against Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. and Traffic Signal and Shakalaka Boom Boom and come out ahead? I think Mr. Varma should rename his movie Nishabd: Silence Is Skimpy to even stand a chance. Whaddya say, Lindsay Lohan?

I still remember it like it was yesterday. One day last month, a mild drizzle had woken up the city. I was out shopping for groceries when I ran into Jessica Alba in a bikini. I closed my eyes and opened them again. In that interval, the girl had morphed into someone that was clearly not Jessica. And in that very same interval, a movie was released in theaters in Tamil Nadu and flopped miserably. It was titled Until There Is A Heart (Nenjirukkum Varai).

Damn, was that the most pathetic first line ever or what. Some moron told me that Jessica Alba would bring me visitors, and I figured I would work her name into my post with a touch of class, but who am I kidding? Eww, I can’t believe people read this blog.

So anyways, what I was trying to say was that this movie – Until There Is A Heart – flopped. And flopped miserably. Jessica Alba. Britney Spears. Undergarments.

Well, I am not surprised at all, because here is what happened at the premiere:

After watching the preview show, Namita came out with tears in her eyes. Precisely the climax has had its effect on her.

I have never seen a climax like this. I couldn’t control my tears, this movie will be a milestone in Naren’s career, was Namita’s acknowledgement. [Link]

It all sounds good, except that Namitha is the girl that had her cellphone stolen by a crow. And after the robbery, she had tried calling the crow to see if it would pick up her phone. And if she is moved by your movie, you are better off ripping the film roll into bite size pieces and gently wiping her tears off, ’cause whatever you may think of her, she does have a huge heart.

Pictures through thesuperficial.com and thatstamil.com

Hi all,

I am married to one of the people that runs this stupid blog.

This morning, he woke up, and discussed several posts with me. The language he used was lyrical and the ideas he put forth were thoughtful. I knew a Pulitzer wasn’t that far off, and I went off to make tea for him.

When I came back, he was slumped in a chair, staring wide eyed at his laptop. He then started talking to me in some sort of alien language.

On the laptop, I found these pictures.

I realized what had happened. I drank the tea myself, and consulted a doctor. Although full recovery is unlikely, he will get back to something approaching normal in a week or so.

He is now relearning English.

I learnt later that he had inadvertently IM’d these pictures to the other people that run this blog, and they are pretty much in the same state.

So give them all a few days, ok? Unless you want to read posts in Alienese.

By the way, I think Ileana sucks. And so does Mamta.

Thanking you. Also thanking idlebrain.com and greatandhra.com for the pictures, which are from movies called Rakhee and Desamuduru.

Tanushree Dutta - who is quite fine just the way she is if you ask me – seems to be interested in constantly refining herself in various directions.

For example in ‘Risk’ I am not deglam completely. I am still dressed well, I have my song and dance number but the performance level has become more refined. In ‘Bhagam Bhag’ there’s a lot of glamour element. There are loud costumes and all that. But again the genre is comedy so my performance level has been refined in a different direction. [Link]

A few more rounds of this, and she’ll be like premium refined, and you can pour her down the throat of your expensive car and drive it around your neighborhood real fast. On second thoughts, maybe not. The car might start making meaningless noises that you’ll find strangely alluring. Like so:

Glamour is something which I believe is an essential part of me which I can’t strip myself of. [Link]

Something tells me she has been dating John Abraham secretly. Or maybe Aftab Shivdasani. Whoever it is, it is definitely not me, and that makes me angry.

Pictures courtesy tanushreedutta.com

Mamta Mohandas must be traumatized. And hurting.

And you would be too, if you had to spend a good four hours squished between a hard handle on one side, and seventeen love handles on the other. Especially if the thing sporting the love handles had an evil grin and called itself Nayanthara. Eww, just the thought totally ruined my sleep tonight.

After the aircraft landed at Doha, the capital of Qatar, enroute to Hyderabad, Mamta joined and plunked herself next to Nayan in the Business Class.

After the flight took off from Doha, Mamta did not care to speak or acknowledge the presence of Nayantara sitting next to her… [Link]

So let me get this straight. A lady is stuck in a gigantic vise that is constantly squishing her, and you expect her to carry on a conversation with the vise? Wow, man, give her a break.

During the in-flight service, Mamta accidentally spilled water on Nayan and muttered “Sorry”, no other word was exchanged as both looked through each other… [Link]

Nice try Ms. Mohandas, but coffee usually works better.

Later to rub it in at the baggage clearance hall, Mamta went up to her and told that she did not recognize Nayan “without make-up”!… [Link]

Wow. I mean, attaboy sweetie. You just earned yourself a few fans for life.

Namita is being visited by her brother and his family at her home. During one of the family gatherings in her garden, Namita was playing with her niece.

A crow in the vicinity was stealing biscuits from the plate kept aside. In the process, the stealthy crow mistook Namita’s ultra slim cell phone to be a biscuit and grabbed it in a jiffy before taking off in the air. Namita, startled by this, chased the crow but could not recover her cell phone. [Link]

Now what gave Namita the right to carry an ultra-slim something? No wonder the crow was pissed. It was so pissed in fact, that when Namita called, it wouldn’t pick up the phone. Smart Crow.

I tried my number immediately after but the phone kept ringing, stated Namita in a melancholic voice that is unlike of her. [Link]

In a totally unrelated development, our Bollywood reporter tells us that Ajay Devgan was in Mumbai – not Chennai – when this incident happened. He does not say if Mr. Devgan can fly.

John Abraham, Bollywood Hunk, has the hots for a costar: Hema Malini in this case. Which is not an unusual thing for the man, but what is admirable is the way he intertwines a message of racial tolerance in his confession.

“During Baabul if I had shot one more day with her I’d have fallen in love with her. She’s really, really pretty,” confesses John.

“Hema Malini is either black or white. [Link]

Yeah, it has to be one of those pal. Why don’t you look closer, huh? She might even turn out to be brown.

As for Amitabh Bachchan, John has piles of compliments to heap on his professionalism.

“Forget about his work ethics. More importantly, he’s a nice man. [Link]

That is some compliment that. Definitely a pile of something heaped on something else.

John chortles. “People think my choices are crazy. They wonder if I’ve lost my marbles risking my life in Baabul . Well, all I’ve to say is, I prefer riding bikes instead of cars.” [Link]

That clears up everything for me. I don’t need to hear anything more from the man – I feel like I know him so well. He rides bikes, so naturally, he’ll be a rich dummy who puts his foot into his large mouth at obtuse angles. Now if you have any doubts still, here is one more quote that might help you understand John, the person.

Actually, there’re two kinds of preparations. One is the big-spectacle preparation where one prepares for the action and dance scenes like Dhoom or Cash . The other kind of preparation is my kind “[Link]

Thanks Johnny. Now get on your bike and ride home to momma, will ya? We’ve had enough for one day.

I am sure there is some type of profound message in here, but I can’t decipher it for the life of me. I usually just say damn in such situations. Damn.

Actually, I think she is three people. The third people is rather hot.

And I don’t blame him at all.

If I got into work one morning to be greeted by a gun-toting, bearded Yeti on a stationary motorcycle, I would be shocked too. I’ll then fetch Mr. Yeti a comb, but that’s besides the point.

Well, a closer read seems to reveal that Prakash Raj was actually shocked with real electricity on the sets of his new movie, Lee.

Actor Prakash Raj had a close shave while shooting for Lee in Chennai on Wednesday.

A stunt sequence was shot, during which the actor sustained electric shock. He immediately raised alarm.

Sensing trouble, director Prabhu Solomon immediately switched off the generator. Prakash Raj was rushed to a hospital nearby. [Link]

Prakash Raj will never be my hero. Letting mere electricity thwart you… shame on you, old man. Here, take this.

(Video through youtube user aravind82)