Stardonic

Have you ever wondered how all these girls can kiss this dude called Emraan Hashmi and not gag? Well, wonder no more. Apparently,

Most sex sirens believe it’s important to fantasise about your beau while giving lip service to other men. [Link]

In other words,

Lights, cameras and locations are just an added advantage but dreaming of your real life lover can do the job. [Link]

Stated otherwise,

If you think real, you can produce real. Think about someone you feel hot about and then you don’t need to make an effort in turning passionate. [Link]

Translated into normal English, this means that if you want to kiss someone you don’t really want to, you can make “the job” easier by thinking about someone else.

Here’s Mona Chopra, paraphrasing it for us.

While locking lips with my co-actor I can generate so much passion that it becomes difficult to make out that I am acting. Everyone thinks it’s some real hot scene going on. Even my director and crew get surprised to see that most of my kiss scenes get a green signal in the very first take. The key to this perfection is the image that I bring to my mind while smooching my co-star. I always keep the picture of my man before my eyes and imagine that I am kissing him. There is no need to feel uncomfortable about anything after that. Once you shut your eyes and think of your dream man then all the emotions start flowing naturally… [Link]

Mona, naturally. (Pic through cinegoer.com)

To reiterate, think of hot man, turn lights and cameras on and let it fly. Sweaty siren Udita Goswami has some specific advice on the type of hot man that will help.

Unless you give hundred per cent to a shot, you can’t make it look genuine. So, the right way is to have the man in your mind who makes you sweat at first sight and then you can smooch your co-star perfectly. [Link]

I wish we’d known this earlier: The secret to a great kiss is to think of a person who makes you all sweaty. We knew bosses were good for something ..

Stop Gloating Dude. She’s kissing someone else right now.

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Once upon a time, Bobby Darling – television actor who underwent a sex change recently – was friends with Riya Sen. She and Riya would hang out a lot, and Riya loved her so much that she couldn’t stay without her for a minute.

So when Riya went to Indore, she took Bobby along with her, presumably to spend some quality time with a close friend. Bobby though had other ideas: she wanted to go sightseeing.

“Riya once took me to Indore as her companion, as I wanted to do some sightseeing.

There was a sightseeing tour, but she didn’t want to go out or let me go either. When she saw that I was keen to go, she offered me a vitamin tablet and said it was for good health…” [Link]

Who can refuse a yummy little vitamin tablet, right? A colored one, at that.

After consuming the coloured tablet, Bobby was knocked out and woke up only eight hours later. [Link]

“I never sleep at that time, and that too for eight hours straight. I realised that something was up. Also by the time I woke up, we’d missed our sightseeing trip.

That’s when Riya told me that instead of a vitamin pill, she’d given me a sleeping tablet instead. However she didn’t mix it in alcohol.” [Link]

Thank God for small mercies. Coming to think of it, Bobby must be thankful for a lot more.What if Riya had been a mean, scheming shrew and force fed her choice scenes from Taj Mahal instead of force feeding her colored tablets? At least the sleeping tablet wore off…

Riya, benevolent brat.

Related posts: A Crippling Composer, Koena’s Travails, Chokher Bali Is Just A Veil, Metamorphosis

Nayan, you are my world. I’ll give you anything you want.

Anything at all?

Of course, ask and ye shall get it.

Well nothing big for today. I’ve always wondered about how I’d look with one of them goatees.

Goatee?

Yes, goatee.

Ok, here you go. Photographer, make sure you get that.

Makeshift Goatee. Picture courtesy, vikatan.com

Shamelessly lifted from an IM conversation with Manoj.

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The Telugu horror movie Nuvvosthanante Nenodhantana (If you want to come, why would I say no?) that had Siddharth and Trisha in the lead is now being remade in Kannada. The Kannada version is titled Neenello Naanalle, and stars someone called Anirudh and Rakshita. [Link]

Trisha, Rakshita

The choice of Rakshita makes it clear that the Kannada director wants to umm.. expand on the original and create a Horror of Horrors with wide appeal. Lending much credence to this theory is the person playing the male lead.

What is scarier: Anirudh or the Sickle?

We never thought we’d say this, but we’ll take Siddharth over this any day. Hmm… on second thought, we’ll revise that to say we’ll take Siddharth over this on most days.

Related post: Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

Himesh Reshammiya, the popular (snicker) Hindi composer answers a few questions from The Outlook, providing us a window into the workings of His incredible mind.

Your stubble-and-cap look is getting rather predictable, isn’t it?

I agree.

And yet, why are you popular?

Because God wants me to be.

So, the secret of your success is…

God. [Link]

Wait. Hold off on expressing your admiration for the man until you read the next question.

Are you just a passing flavour?

From my first song to my 28th hit, from Tere Naam, the largest-selling album in the last 10 years, to all the jury and popular awards, from the pure classical raag-based film album Benares to the semi-classical Tere Naam or the rocking young tracks in Aashique Banaya Aapne, Aksar, China Town, Tom, Dick and Harry, Phir Hera Pheri, Humraaz, Aitraaz, Janaabe Aali, Niqamma, Mohabbat Hai Mirchi–I’m being called a passing flavour?

So, what are you?

A passing flavour, perhaps… [Link]

Such blinding wit. Throw in the deafeningly good voice, and the mind numbing music – and you got a killer musician on your hands. Thank goodness our feet can still run.

Hottie here. Sudha, are you happy now?

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Madhu is a new Tamil movie starring Priya Mani and Ramesh, an up and coming star who is the son of a really rich producer. Reviews have described the movie as “leaving the audience feel desensitized and dehydrated,” but it is quite educational in our opinion. We’ve always struggled to explain the concept of a “punch dialog” to our wide international audience, but Madhu comes to our rescue with this scene, entirely in English.

Girl teases a boy. Boy responds by approaching the girl, and kissing her in public while the camera looks elsewhere. After the kiss, boy speaks.

Video hosted at Youtube…

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition, Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

The Hindustan Times Tabloid – our reliable news source of the day – reports that police are trying to determine if a recent accident in New Delhi could’ve been a suicide in disguise. At least, that’s what we think the report says… it is mostly a series of commas punctuated by the occasional word.

The recent Honda burning case, in the capital, has left everyone in a state of tizzy. Mystery shrouds as to whether it was God, who fulfilled the desire of lovebirds to end their lives together, whose charred bodies were found inside a totally burnt Honda City car few backs. [Link]

But here is what interests us the most. Apparently, the last thing the couple did was watch Fanaa.

The suicide note dated May 24 further revealed their plan to go and see the much-hyped movie Fanaa on Sunday (May 28) and further states that it is only God who knows what would happen next. [Link]

We shudder to think what they would’ve done if they’d watched Garam Masala instead. (And thank you so much for not mentioning Neal ‘N’ Nikki in our presence.)

Technorati: Bollywood, Fanaa

Del.icio.us: Bollywood, Fanaa

Arya, newest hunk to grace Tamil Filmdom, talks to Kumudam.

Eight memorable incidents from your life…

5. Getting caught cheating in high school.

Name nine women you’d love to date?

2. Kaavya Viswanathan.

What a well read hunk! And what a great pair these two would make… Obviously, they will never cheat on each other, and (equally obviously) they’ll produce some very ethical kids.

Talk about matches made in heaven…

Pooja, who is Arya?s heroine in his next movie. If you want Arya pictures, look for them yourself.

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GreatAndhra.com is quite possibly our favorite news source. While several publications have published pictures of a blonde Rajinikanth and a blonder Shriya romping around in Spain, only GreatAndhra bothered to let us know just how aroused the “artistic settings” at the shooting spot were.

The huge erections of artistic settings, gigantic cranes, troupes of dancers from Britain were circled in the surroundings of the shooting spot turning the heads of all the people living nearby. [Link]

Who can resist a good peek at a horny prop? Is it any wonder then that Shriya started to respond?

Shriya accompanied him with her new gesticulations. [Link]

Nice.

Related post: Silver is Speechless

Poor Koena Mitra. People keep dissing her for going under the knife, but little do they realize that it was her troubled childhood that forced her into it.

… when she was growing up she was totally tomboyish. In fact, for her first day at school, she was dressed up as a boy by her father. Her father loved to dress her up as a boy. Sneakers, T-Shirts and shorts were part of her daily wear as well as short hair.

That was until disaster (in a miniscule sense) struck. One typical day at school, Koena wanted to go to the loo and the school bai took her there. Only thing was that the bai was so convinced that Koena was a boy that she took her to the boy’s toilet. No matter how much Koena cried at the top of her lungs claiming to be a girl, the bai refused to listen. [Link]

Such trauma. Tch. Tch. (And Mr. Reporter – Calling this miniscule betrays an appaling lack of sympathy…) At the very instant, Koena decided that she had to appear more feminine.

Koena was so embarrassed, that she immediately went home and asked her mother to make her look like a girl. So her mother put on clip earrings, plastic bangles and a very pretty dress. [Link]

We presume she was only partly happy with the results, so when she grew up, she went to a doctor and asked him to make her look a bit more – ahem – feminine. Fair enough, right? (Link Link) As a man, I only know too well how traumatic it is to enter a women’s restroom. After the experience, my hands promptly went under the teacher’s cane. Teacher’s Cane. Doctor’s knife. Same difference.

And so, on behalf of all men, I would like to apologize to Koena and let her know that we all understand totally.

Koena Mitra, who only only hangs out with very “feminine” stars these days…

Related posts: Speech is Silver: The Contradicting Oneself Edition, Metamorphosis

You know how these models keep slipping out of their clothes and get away by blaming their designers? I am sure you do, dear readers, especially because you spent several hours searching for the term wardrobe malfunction on Google. (Hint: Search elsewhere). SilverScreen strongly condemns such malfunctions – it is our long held belief that the strength of the moral fabric of a society is inversely proportional to the strength of the fabric on catwalk models.

When it happened at the Lakme Fashion Week last month, the Maharashtra Government reacted rather admirably.

Maharashtra’s deputy chief minister R R Patil has ordered Mumbai police commissioner A N Roy to check the video clippings of Lakme Fashion Week, to verify if the wardrobe malfunctions that occurred on the ramp were genuine or ‘deliberate, indecent acts’.

On March 29 when Carol Gracias was walking the ramp for Bennu Sehgall’s collection, her halter top slipped off. A day later the skirt Gauhar Khan donned for the Lascelles Symons’s show split open. [Link]

But a month has passed now, and we are not sure what came out of the review. We are also not sure if Mr. A.N. Roy has come out of the sound-proof room he went into to watch the tapes in peace. Very disappointing for those of us who expected some quick action.

However, there is some good news now. Apparently, the Upper House of the Indian Parliament has spent a considerable amount of time debating the issue last week, and they’ve proposed a law making underwear compulsory for catwalk models. Thank God there are at least a few sane people left in this nation… we request all of you to write to your respective MPs to show your support for the law.

A proposal was mooted for undergarments being made mandatory for models on the catwalk and anguish expressed about clothes designed for such shows becoming shorter and tighter. [Link, through India Uncut.]

Even Rakhi Sawant agrees with us. We think.

“But undergarments are a necessity. However, on the ramp one should not interfere with the design of a dress and the episodes referred to were accidents.” She is quick to add,”But if the government feels, it should go ahead with it. [Link]

Eh, Rakhi… undergarments are a necessity, but we also strongly recommend some outergarments. In the most sensible part of the report, Amanpreet Wahi, catwalk model, brings up the question of enforcement.

An amused Amanpreet Wahi, model, simply cannot stop laughing.”If I was not wearing any, will they come to check? Who can tell me when to wear what?” [Link]

The writers at SilverScreen would like to let lawmakers know that in the interest of sewing together India’s torn moral fabric, they are willing to volunteer for the unpleasant job of checking models for proper attire before every catwalk. We’ll even do it for free – that’s how selfless we are.

Related post: To show or not to show

Chokher Bali, the Rituparno Ghosh “passion play” is an adaptation of an acclaimed Rabindranath Tagore novel for the big screen. When the movie was released, the critics raved about it, as they are wont to when the director’s previous movies have an arty feel to them, and rather surprisingly for an Aishwarya Rai starrer, it even made a little bit of money at the box office.

No deviation from the script, so far.

Buoyed by his success, Rituparno wanted to cash in some more, and so he decided to to dub his movie into Tamil. He brings in a bunch of Tamil distributors to watch the movie and they see right through the the movie: The whole “Tagore-Adultery-Period Piece” routine was just a wrapper to obfuscate the focal point of the movie: a ten second scene of Ms. Rai showing her bare back to the audience. Told you these guys are sharp…

So yes, the movie will be dubbed into Tamil and it will be titled “Aishwarya Rai is a Very Beautiful Woman.” [Aishwarya Rai Oru Perazhagi, Source, in Tamil.].

She plays the role of a young widow who is unable to control her biological inclinations and has an adulterous relationship with her friend’s husband. In this controversial subject, Aishwarya Rai has acted without a drape on top. [Link]

And this report in Tamil, telling us exactly why the movie should be watched.

Aishwarya does not wear a blouse through the entire movie, and she is always clad in a white saree. She has “poured” her beautiful body into the movie. In one scene, she wears nothing on top – dancing her way into the “chests” of readers. The censor board was “stunned” when they watched the movie, because all the “glamor scenes” appear “crystal clear.”

What movie were they watching, I wonder. But then again, we have to admit: this is no deviation from the script either.

Related posts: Distilling The Essence, Metamorphosis, Ingrates

Aishwarya Rai Bollywood Cinema Hindi Kollywood Tamil

Aishwarya Rai Bollywood Cinema Hindi Kollywood Tamil

We are updating older posts to conform to the new stylesheet that we have started using now. We apologize if posts show up multiple times on your feedreader.

Done now.

This is a fair and balanced blog. Now we’ll be the first to admit that we aren’t big fans of Ram Gopal Varma, but when the man does something good, we’ll be the first to hand him his due.. in this case, he deserves a slurpy wet kiss (on the cheek, please) for his candor.

In a brave move, Varma has acknowledged in public what we’ve suspected for a long, long time. He can’t really make horror movies.

… the outspoken director referred to SRK’s best friend, Karan Johar’s Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, as a “horror film“. [Link]

“When I called K3G a horror film, I was actually paying Karan a backhanded compliment. I’m not capable of making a film like that. [Link]

Gee, it comes about two hundred movies too late, this realization of his, but we’ll take what we get.

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Ram Gopal Varma Bollywood Cinema Desi Hindi Speech is Silver

Ram Gopal Varma Bollywood Cinema Desi Hindi Speech is Silver

Koena Mitra, on plastic surgeries…

“It’s a very private thing for any woman to talk about,” says Mitra, the sexy Saki Saki girl from Musafir. “I think plastic surgery is like medicine you take when you fall down. If you realise there’s something missing in you, you go in for it.”… [Link, Indian Express]

Koena Mitra, on plastic surgeries…

“I take it as a compliment if people think I have gone under the knife to look good, when actually, it’s “natural”. People don’t use their brains before asking such ridiculous questions — I am not at an age where I need a facelift. [Link, Midday]

Meanwhile, reports say that Koena has sent a legal notice to MidDay, but not the Indian Express (or SilverScreen). Hmm..

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Bollywood Cinema India Hindi Movies koena mitra

Bollywood Cinema India Hindi Movies koena mitra

Ladies and Gentlemen, as part of our continuing series on hot South Indian heroes, we present this to you.

We are struck by the urge to say snarky things, but we are hurting from all the all the open jawed gawking we did: A feeble damn is all we can manage.

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Ajithkumar Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Ajithkumar Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

One evening, as Sangeeth Sivan was recovering from a stupor induced by bad music, he discovered that his heroine had been changed into a slightly less monstrous creature. He sat on his chair back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, her puffy, swollen face, unmistakably altered. Her two legs, pitifully thin in comparison to her bust, flickered helplessly before his eyes. [Franz, meet Bollywood.]

“It happened during the music launch of Ghai’s Shaadi Se Pehle. Yes, I did ask Koena what she had done to her face. She was looking very different from when I had seen her last, during the first schedule.”

“Koena told me that there was some problem with her teeth. She had had a tooth removed, and hence her face looked swollen.” Sivan said that Koena did not tell him that she had undergone any enhancement procedure. “But I have heard that Koena has had a facelift. People have been talking about it on the sets,” reveals the director. [Link]

Naturally enough, much strife followed the metamorphosis. On the sets of Sivan’s Money, Money, Money, Koena and Riya Sen got into a “cold war” with both of them accusing each other of getting facelifts.Unit hands say it wasn’t a pretty sight.

We are still trying to find out if the war got physical; and if so, if there was any ripping of clothes, and if so, if there was a cameraman nearby. We’ll let you know as soon as we find out.

Continue reading ‘Metamorphosis’

Courtesy: http://thatstamil.oneindia.in/specials/cinema/heroes/rajini19.html

That hot blonde you see… that is Rajinikanth, in Spain shooting for his latest movie. Wow. Like I said, we are struck speechless. Can I say it one more time, please? WOW.

Rajinikanth Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Rajinikanth Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

India is miffed, and rightfully so.

So these two hot chicks travel all the way to France on Indian passports. With tickets purchased using Indian money made from acting in Indian movies shot mostly in Switzerland. See how much India has done for them already?

And what do these ungrateful bimbos do the moment they land in France? They toss away their beautiful Indian clothes and change into clothes designed by white people. Oh the travesty of it! The sheer blasphemy.

On the other hand, Bollywood has become a symbol of India, celebrated on international catwalks and even at the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne. Therefore, what Aishwarya Rai and Preity Zinta wear is of great significance.Within our limits, in a world ruled by pulchritude, there is much to consider. One might say that the Rais and Zintas of this world have a right to dress how they want to and should not be subject to any nationalistic pressure.

But others say that as long as they present themselves as Indian actresses, they must bear the Indian part in mind, especially overseas. [Link]

And here’s Shobhaa De, understated as always, calling it a disaster.

[...] Shobhaa De said, “It is disaster, disaster, disaster. When India is the international flavour, why are our girls dressing like Marys off to church? Even if it is fusion wear, they should be showcasing our brilliant crafts.

Instead, they are looking like Hispanic nobodies- Penelope Cruz’s handmaidens, Salma Hayek’s dressers. Bollywood actresses should wear India with pride. [Link]

Very sad indeed. SilverScreen recommends that the Gujarat Government consider banning all movies featuring these two ungrateful young starlets. It is high time someone taught them a lesson.

Continue reading ‘Ingrates!’

Chingaari (The Spark), the Kalpana Lajmi movie that has Sushmita Sen playing a callgirl, is now playing to “packed houses” in Tamil. The dubbed movie is titled Sivappu Vilakku Singari.^[1] Heh. [Link, in Tamil]

These guys don’t beat around the bush, do they? Dunno if you see it, but Singari even rhymes with Chingaari. Such genius.

PS: And please, don’t ask for Sushmita pictures with this post. This is not about that.

PPS: In an interesting sidenote, Chingaari was originally titled A Prostitute and A Postman. Hah! (Ok, I was being presumptuous when I said interesting sidenote.)

[1] : A loose translation would be Red Light Rachel, but that doesn’t even begin to capture the sheer magic of the Tamil title.

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Actresses Tamil Cinema Movies Hindi Bollywood Sushmita Sen

Actresses Tamil Cinema Movies Hindi Bollywood Sushmita Sen