Stardonic

In a blistering piece of burning-truth journalism, Sify declares that ‘Ileana is important’. Pfffft, say it along with me Karthik – We know!

And how important is she?

…there is tremendous pressure on her to do the Tamil remake of Pokiri opposite Tamil superstar Vijay. Link

Pressure, as in, shameless grovelling by producers wearing I heart Ileana T-shirts (made in Florida). The article also mentions that she might give other actresses a run for their money, or as Nayantara calls it, a much needed workout.

In Bollywood, ask anyone to name their favorite Bhatt classic and you’ll hear them say – “Why? All his autobiographical films of course, and *wink wink* Jennifer Lopez’s too. Get it? Bhatt-Butt?” If you can ignore the tasteless joke, you’ll realize it’s true.

Hop on a time machine, and you could watch Mahesh Bhatt’s past in Eastman Color and marvel at his phillum-like life (while you’re there tell me that Neelima is not interested in me). Which is why Bhatt-saab didn’t make just one, but three autobiographical movies. Except…he got drunk, a lot, while making them and left daughter Pooja Bhatt with a definitely weird childhood that has her speaking at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting years later about what it meant to have an alcoholic father around.

But Bhatt that she is, an emotional speech is but a trailer for what will follow.

Continue reading ‘Know your Bhatts’

Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be in Mumbai on April 23 to promote her er… music album ‘Rebirth’ besides her other works including charity. And I thought – That’s a double whammy. She’ll raise money and levels of musical mediocrity in Bollywood.

Hollywood’s ambassador to Bollywood and founder of www.hollywood.tv, Sheernaz Hasan, who spoke to Lopez’s management, has confirmed her date with Mumbai. “Yes it’s for sure she is definitely performing in Mumbai this time. Like I had always said Hollywood is looking up to India and Bollywood in a very big way, it’s my mission to promote Bollywood in Hollywood, and this is just the beginning,” Hasan said. Link

Turns out Ms. Hasan was a delusional ass. Not as big as you know what, but still.

Continue reading ‘J-Lo in Mumbai’

In 1995, there was DDLJ. In 2006, it’s MPLJ, a refreshing take on the Laila-Majnu story. The premise, the rumor mills say, is intriguing – the lovely Laila jumps, while the athletic Majnu pumps. Genius.

The B-grade movie brigade mainly manages to attract their target audience through sleazy posters and titillating titles. One such movie title happens to be Majnu Pumping Laila Jumping that has created quite a buzz

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Bi-weekly Silverscreen Tip
Useful Acronyms : AC/DC, SRT and BRB
Useless Acronyms : FMC, WIFPA, IMPPA and ROTFLMAO

If you’re a fan, you are already spitting out the Pepsi & holding your thumbs way up. If not, you’re taking a printout to show the kid who asked you – “What does the Boogeyman look like?”

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Halfway during an Engineering Drawing Exam, when we were trying to draw meaningless criss-crossed lines, our proctor announced that Kovai Sarala was in the building. We flung our answer papers in his face and sprinted out like rabid dogs. Ok, so that didn’t happen, but I’m sure we would have. Let’s just say we were, how do you call it, desperate? Not so at Coimbatore Agricultural University.

…scenes involving Surya and Bhumika were shot at Coimbatore at the library of the Agriculture University.
…students were not allowed by the film unit to enter the library to borrow books. Absolutely irritated that they were being hindered from entering their own library by outsiders, the students have protested vehemently.

And before you ask, I only wish I knew the answers to questions like “Would it have happened if it were Simran?”, “Would it have happened if it were Namitha?”, “What or Who is a library?”.

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Interviewer: You used to have 25 people in you. What did she(the wife) do with all of them?
Husband: She loved all of them!
Wife: No, there are some of them I don’t like!
Interviewer: Where are they now?
Husband: Well no! That was just me!
Interviewer: Have they gone?
Husband: Yeah!
Interviewer: All gone! It was getting too crowded!

I skipped dinner trying to figure that out. And dessert. And the rapid greying of hair began with the googly-esque “That was just me”. But the nail in the coffin, and I literally mean the coffin by my side now – the one I built from ripping all the furniture in the house, was the interviewer finally making sense of it all.

I spit on my education. My father wasted his money. It’s been a great life. Goodbye folks.
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