Stardonic

Vallavan, starring SilverScreen mascots Nayanthara and Simbu has been in production for… like forever. And everyday, we hear things about the movie that make us lick our lips in anticipation…

Nayan has reportedly performed a scintillating dance number for which she was suspended in midair with the help of steel ropes. [Link]

Go back and read that again: Nayan.Suspended.MidAir.From.A.Mere.Chain. Now just where was this steel maker when the New Orleans levees were being constructed? I am placing an order for hurricane shutters from them right away. Florence, let’s see you break that defense!

It is not like when Nayan was hanging from the chain, Chimpu was idly gazing upwards – he was actually thinking pretty hard. Not many of you know this, but Indian movies don’t get Oscars mainly because the actors are shown smoking cheap cigarattes. Like at the Oscar’s last time, the camera zeroed in on Mammotty smoking a beedi, and the jury was like, “Hey, that’s cheap stuff. No Oscar for you.”

Clever man that he is, Simbu decided to redress the problem in Vallavan.

We also heard that Simbu would be seen smoking imported cigars in the movie, especially in the dance numbers. He has unleashed his own self in the larger than life sequences and is expecting the movie to do well. [Link]

When Vallavan gets that Oscar, you know where you heard it first.

Know Nila? No?  Ok, here get to know her before we proceed.

When model Meera Chopra moved to Tamil films, she was rechristened Nila (The Moon) by director Surya (The Sun). Now at a recent film shoot, The Moon was supposed to run behind someone called Poochi (The Insect). And that’s what led her to experience the “scariest day in any human being’s life.”

The camera started running and as soon as the director uttered ‘Action’, Nila started chasing poochi. Out of the blue, a street dog appeared from nowhere and ran in chase of Nila – as is the characteristic of dogs. [Link]

Hmm… chasing hot women is a characteristic of dogs? Now why was the neighbor’s dog  after me all the frickin’ time? 

Nila obviously got frightened and ran faster crying her lungs out. The crew and the assistant director came to her rescue driving the dog out from the scene and rescuing the terrified Nila. She seemed to be in shock for half an hour and the shoots resumed after this hullabaloo.[Link]

In short, A Dog chasing The Moon that in turn was chasing The Insect. No wonder this is newsworthy.

When our reporter sought SJ Surya’s (remember him? The Sun) opinion on Nila being chased by strange creatures at film shoots, an angry Surya responded that he had stopped chasing her a long time back. Whatever, boss.

After successfully killing audiences all over Tamil Nadu and the world (let’s not forget the poor Non Resident Tamils) with performances in classics such as Priyasaki and Thambi, Madhavan finally pleased those same audiences when he got himself and his MIG killed on Rang de Basanti. Madhavan’s successful relationship with the MIG continues with a new cell phone game endorsed by the star and called Madhavan’s MIG! [Link]

Madhavan’s MIG appears to be a highly complicated and very demanding game. We asked Maddy to explain its intricacies:

Post RDB, Madhavan’s MIG flies on

“[It is a] series of lifestyle games. How a guy can date a girl and how he can take her out, or how a girl can date a guy? And they’ve signed me on exclusively. No other Indian actor has been signed for the game.”

An anonymous source told us that whoever solves the mystery of why no other Indian actor was signed for the game will get free tickets for Madhavan’s next ten movies (and now you know why our source wishes to remain anonymous).

SRK has nothing to do with this post. I put up this picture in response to reader complaints about the paucity of hunks on this blog. (not counting hosts Karthik & Manoj, of course) [Link]

Puke alert: High.

Will she sink or float?

When you dunk a southern bombshell in water, will she sink or will she float? What if the bombshell is Mumtaz? What if the water is replaced by milk? And does the identity of the dunker matter?

Man of action and his floatation device?

If you are of a scientific persuasion, and spend many sleepless nights seeking answers to such burning questions, you are not alone. T. Rajender is with you. And unlike you, he doesn’t believe in sitting back and twiddling his thumbs. The man of action is, well, taking action. His new movie Veerasamy features a “kuthu number” in which the healthy item girl dunks herself in about 1000 litres of milk. We collectively hold our breath till August (when the movie is slated for release, more importantly, it helps with the nausea) to find out the answer to that eternal quest involving belles and their affinity for all things liquid. [Link]

Rumor has it that SilverScreen photo-op favorite, Ajithkumar was coerced into parting with his advance after he decided to step out of his next project – director Bala’s Naan Kadavul.

Reports in the vernacular press have been suggesting that Ajith was grilled by some henchmen reportedly sent by Bala after the actor refused to be part of Naan Kadavul.

Though Bala and Ajith both said that they have sorted out the differences between them mutually, reports of Ajith being threatened have created ripples in the industry. [Link]

Things are still murky on what really happened with that, but a new report suggests that Ajith will now “show Bala who he is” by “releasing a movie on the same day as Naan Kadavul.” [Link]

While that may not scare Bala, we are quite sure this will.

Please spare us Catman. Please. Please.

And here’s a little something to help y’all overcome the trauma…

Continue reading ‘Seldom Acts, Often Scares’

Through tipster d.n.a, we learn that Himesh Reshammiya will score the music for Dasavatharam, the K.S. Ravikumar movie that has Kamalhassan doing ten roles.

Himesh is Bollywood?s hottest music director and a craze with the youth. He has been signed by producer Oscar Ravichandran for his prestigious Kamal Hassan big budget film Dasavatharam to be directed by K.S.Ravikumar. [Link]

What this means is that Dasavatharam will be like Thenali with bad music. Hmm. When do advance bookings open for Shivaji again?

Get out after one, please.

Once upon a time, Bobby Darling – television actor who underwent a sex change recently – was friends with Riya Sen. She and Riya would hang out a lot, and Riya loved her so much that she couldn’t stay without her for a minute.

So when Riya went to Indore, she took Bobby along with her, presumably to spend some quality time with a close friend. Bobby though had other ideas: she wanted to go sightseeing.

“Riya once took me to Indore as her companion, as I wanted to do some sightseeing.

There was a sightseeing tour, but she didn’t want to go out or let me go either. When she saw that I was keen to go, she offered me a vitamin tablet and said it was for good health…” [Link]

Who can refuse a yummy little vitamin tablet, right? A colored one, at that.

After consuming the coloured tablet, Bobby was knocked out and woke up only eight hours later. [Link]

“I never sleep at that time, and that too for eight hours straight. I realised that something was up. Also by the time I woke up, we’d missed our sightseeing trip.

That’s when Riya told me that instead of a vitamin pill, she’d given me a sleeping tablet instead. However she didn’t mix it in alcohol.” [Link]

Thank God for small mercies. Coming to think of it, Bobby must be thankful for a lot more.What if Riya had been a mean, scheming shrew and force fed her choice scenes from Taj Mahal instead of force feeding her colored tablets? At least the sleeping tablet wore off…

Riya, benevolent brat.

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Nayan, you are my world. I’ll give you anything you want.

Anything at all?

Of course, ask and ye shall get it.

Well nothing big for today. I’ve always wondered about how I’d look with one of them goatees.

Goatee?

Yes, goatee.

Ok, here you go. Photographer, make sure you get that.

Makeshift Goatee. Picture courtesy, vikatan.com

Shamelessly lifted from an IM conversation with Manoj.

Related posts: When The Behind comes out ahead…., A Tongue In Teeth Romance, Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

Reader Bart points us to a live chat with Dhanush, the star of the recently released Pudhupettai. We aren’t too sure if he is being disarmingly honest, or just plain arrogant. We love his comments on Namita, Vijay and Ajith, but we’ll leave the rest to you.

On his father-in-law, aka the identity-munching no-good blond actor (OK, so he didn’t mention the blond part – minor oversight, surely), Dhanush says:

Q: how does it feel to be the son-in-law of the world’s greatest hero – Rajnikanth!

Dhanush: wierd…

Q: What difference you feel professionally after marrying Superstar’s Daughter

Dhanush: i lost my identity…

Q: do you have aspirations of becoming the next super star after Rajni?

Dhanush: nope, i wanna go beyond that…

Q: How can we compare Amithabachan and Rajinikanth?

Dhanush: cant compare, amitabh i sa little better than him, i guess, hope my rajini does nt see this

On his leading ladies, er, chechis:

Q: u and sneha formed a very good pair

Dhanush: u think so? don u think she s little older for me?

Q: Dhanush-Sneha pair 100% perfect.

Dhanush: sneha and i don match….plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Q: Can namitha act as ur heroine? hahaha

Dhanush: i ll look like her two yr old son

On his looks

Q: Do you think that good looks is essential to become a hero in Tamil cinema?

Dhanush: did n u see my films?

An obvious Dhanush fan: I have got this major crush on you, man!

Dhanush: really? u shud really see a doctor

And the competition:

Q: Comments on Vijay and Ajith..pls

Dhanush: to be frank…i think both of them shud work on thier acting skills

Hat tip – Bart [Link]

Madhu is a new Tamil movie starring Priya Mani and Ramesh, an up and coming star who is the son of a really rich producer. Reviews have described the movie as “leaving the audience feel desensitized and dehydrated,” but it is quite educational in our opinion. We’ve always struggled to explain the concept of a “punch dialog” to our wide international audience, but Madhu comes to our rescue with this scene, entirely in English.

Girl teases a boy. Boy responds by approaching the girl, and kissing her in public while the camera looks elsewhere. After the kiss, boy speaks.

Video hosted at Youtube…

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition, Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

She says her mobile phone is bombarded with SMS messages and you could guess what kind of messages they would be. Passes at her, proposals for dates and dinners or plain romantic mush.

Even someone with half-a-brain would start guessing – The Rai woman? Our poster-girl Ileana? Kaavya Vishwanathan complaining about “unknown calls” from Chennai? Or Celina Jaitley, who recently renounced mobile communications?

I (Celina) don’t like to use my cell phone when I’m at work; I think it’s very disturbing. In fact, I don’t even carry my phone on my shoots. [Link]

Wrong. Why would anyone ever make a pass at Ileana? And have you seen Aishwarya lately? And Celina…prancing about in her mini skirts & skimpy bikinis. *puke*

No, this is closer to home (if you live in Kodambakkam). This is what sultry seductress Gopika has to go through everyday. That’s right, I said Gopika. And the messages do not just originate from the phones of adolescent boys captivated by this Mallu chechi.

She also says,”there are several actors who have sent me such messages, but I won’t tell their names as my career is at stake. [Link]

Gopika and her bindi in another trend-setting outfit

I admit it, my first thought was – what career? But I guess I’m also curious about what actor. I mean seriously dude – If you’re going to be a pathetic sleaze, at least raise your bar. Contact us and we’ll let you have Trisha’s number for a bit part in your next movie. Oh! you thought only you could be pathetic?

……….

Speaking of cellphones, someone sent Ex-MP and Why-Actor, Sarath Kumar an obscene SMS. Link

Sir, the person who sent the message would like to clarify that Sperm* is actually SMS speak for ‘Supreme Star’.

We hear that the pride and joy of Tamil cinema is about to do a French movie! [Link]

Just think of the infinite ways French society is about to benefit – for starters, what they’re about to learn in terms of Fashion alone is surely worth his weight in conflict diamonds! No more boring pin stripes, and white shirts. If you have any hopes of making it in the fashion business repeat this to yourself at least 50 times a day, “Orange is the new black!” and let’s not forget that there’s so much you can do with hair.

And ladies, when you accompany a well-dressed man of the world, please get a grip on yourself! Monochrome is so last year – this year, it’s Multichrome, baby! And if you can throw on a wig, we promise you’ll be throwing telephones in no time at all. [Link]

Arya, newest hunk to grace Tamil Filmdom, talks to Kumudam.

Eight memorable incidents from your life…

5. Getting caught cheating in high school.

Name nine women you’d love to date?

2. Kaavya Viswanathan.

What a well read hunk! And what a great pair these two would make… Obviously, they will never cheat on each other, and (equally obviously) they’ll produce some very ethical kids.

Talk about matches made in heaven…

Pooja, who is Arya?s heroine in his next movie. If you want Arya pictures, look for them yourself.

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, You Go Girl!, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

GreatAndhra.com is quite possibly our favorite news source. While several publications have published pictures of a blonde Rajinikanth and a blonder Shriya romping around in Spain, only GreatAndhra bothered to let us know just how aroused the “artistic settings” at the shooting spot were.

The huge erections of artistic settings, gigantic cranes, troupes of dancers from Britain were circled in the surroundings of the shooting spot turning the heads of all the people living nearby. [Link]

Who can resist a good peek at a horny prop? Is it any wonder then that Shriya started to respond?

Shriya accompanied him with her new gesticulations. [Link]

Nice.

Related post: Silver is Speechless

We hear a woman has soured a close friendship between the two reigning Princes of Sleaze – SJ Suryah and the Chimp. These two were close friends till one of them started going out with our very own bete noire Nayantara. The lady, apparently, does not approve of SJS. [Link]

As difficult as it is for us to agree with her on any matter, we are forced to concede our reluctant admiration. We applaud her valiant attempts to wean her man off at least one of his undesirable habits. We at Silver Screen are no fans of SJS. But we can squeeze an ounce or two of outrage at the shabby treatment he’s receiving from a man he sacrificed working with Vijay for!

Silver Screen proposes a way to untie this Gordian knot. A duel – preferably to the death. Let SJS and Nayantara fight it out for the man they both so desire. And if either of them goes down (and we pray that at least one does), the only decent thing left for the Chimp to do is quit the movie business.

If Tamil movie fans can be spared even one of these individuals, all the blood, sweat and toil that goes into this blog will have been paid off three times over.

Remember Vijaykumar’s son Arun Kumar? You know, the guy who played second fiddle to Bharath in Azhagai Irukkai Bayamai Irukkiradhu? No? The guy dressed in white who played second fiddle to Shaam in Iyarkkai? Great! Now you don’t remember who Shaam is?!

Anyway, this is what he had to say.

Arun Kumar says, “I am very choosy. If I had accepted all the offers that came my way, I would have been no where. Let’s hope my forthcoming movie brings me more fortunes”.

I know what he means. This is like when I told my friend – If I had won the lottery last year, I would have been a pathetic rich guy. Or when I told my father – If I had invented the cure to cancer, I would have had to drag him to the Nobel Prize ceremony. Or when I tell myself in the mirror – If I had a completely different face, six-pack abs and a thick mane of hair, I would have been a disgusting Casanova.

Chokher Bali, the Rituparno Ghosh “passion play” is an adaptation of an acclaimed Rabindranath Tagore novel for the big screen. When the movie was released, the critics raved about it, as they are wont to when the director’s previous movies have an arty feel to them, and rather surprisingly for an Aishwarya Rai starrer, it even made a little bit of money at the box office.

No deviation from the script, so far.

Buoyed by his success, Rituparno wanted to cash in some more, and so he decided to to dub his movie into Tamil. He brings in a bunch of Tamil distributors to watch the movie and they see right through the the movie: The whole “Tagore-Adultery-Period Piece” routine was just a wrapper to obfuscate the focal point of the movie: a ten second scene of Ms. Rai showing her bare back to the audience. Told you these guys are sharp…

So yes, the movie will be dubbed into Tamil and it will be titled “Aishwarya Rai is a Very Beautiful Woman.” [Aishwarya Rai Oru Perazhagi, Source, in Tamil.].

She plays the role of a young widow who is unable to control her biological inclinations and has an adulterous relationship with her friend’s husband. In this controversial subject, Aishwarya Rai has acted without a drape on top. [Link]

And this report in Tamil, telling us exactly why the movie should be watched.

Aishwarya does not wear a blouse through the entire movie, and she is always clad in a white saree. She has “poured” her beautiful body into the movie. In one scene, she wears nothing on top – dancing her way into the “chests” of readers. The censor board was “stunned” when they watched the movie, because all the “glamor scenes” appear “crystal clear.”

What movie were they watching, I wonder. But then again, we have to admit: this is no deviation from the script either.

Related posts: Distilling The Essence, Metamorphosis, Ingrates

Aishwarya Rai Bollywood Cinema Hindi Kollywood Tamil

Aishwarya Rai Bollywood Cinema Hindi Kollywood Tamil

Ladies and Gentlemen, as part of our continuing series on hot South Indian heroes, we present this to you.

We are struck by the urge to say snarky things, but we are hurting from all the all the open jawed gawking we did: A feeble damn is all we can manage.

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Ajithkumar Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Ajithkumar Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Courtesy: http://thatstamil.oneindia.in/specials/cinema/heroes/rajini19.html

That hot blonde you see… that is Rajinikanth, in Spain shooting for his latest movie. Wow. Like I said, we are struck speechless. Can I say it one more time, please? WOW.

Rajinikanth Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Rajinikanth Cinema India Kollywood Movies Tamil

Chingaari (The Spark), the Kalpana Lajmi movie that has Sushmita Sen playing a callgirl, is now playing to “packed houses” in Tamil. The dubbed movie is titled Sivappu Vilakku Singari.^[1] Heh. [Link, in Tamil]

These guys don’t beat around the bush, do they? Dunno if you see it, but Singari even rhymes with Chingaari. Such genius.

PS: And please, don’t ask for Sushmita pictures with this post. This is not about that.

PPS: In an interesting sidenote, Chingaari was originally titled A Prostitute and A Postman. Hah! (Ok, I was being presumptuous when I said interesting sidenote.)

[1] : A loose translation would be Red Light Rachel, but that doesn’t even begin to capture the sheer magic of the Tamil title.

Related Posts: Lost In Translation

Actresses Tamil Cinema Movies Hindi Bollywood Sushmita Sen

Actresses Tamil Cinema Movies Hindi Bollywood Sushmita Sen