Speech is silver: Warmth loving marginal hero edition

Rahul BoseStill think of English August when you think of Rahul Bose? Boy, have the times changed!

No. This is not an excerpt from an Emraan Hashmi interview.

Q: What made you get so gutsy so early in your career?

A: I guess I can drop my pants and my inhibitions because I’m not a conventional leading man. I’ve no image. I’m marginal.

Q: You’ve lots of kissing and lovemaking scenes with her [Mallika Sherawat].

A: The genuine warmth and affection we felt for each other showed up on screen. [Link]

Kukunoor and his kutti audience

Nagesh Kukunoor has made a new film – ‘Dor‘. His movies don’t exactly have the masses beating a path to the theaters, as MSN India takes much pains to tell us:

‘Dor’ caters to a niche audience. It seems, Kukunoor has targeted his film for an audience that’s not in the majority. Although handled with utmost sensitivity, you cannot close your eyes to the fact that the execution of the material would appeal to a tiny segment of viewers. And also the Festival circuit. [Link]

The next time they want to write articles that appear to be well, long, why don’t they simply increase font size or line spacing instead? Worked for me in college and it’s faster.

If you ever get around to reading the rest of that article, do let us know what else they said about the movie. Rants apart, we’re glad that there’s a new Kukunoor movie to watch.

Dream Project

V.C. Guganathan has been in the movie business for a long time, and now he is worried about his legacy. Since the easiest way to achieve lasting fame is by making your dream movie, Guganathan will soon direct a movie called Ithu MGR Illam (“This is the house of MGR”). And like we stated earlier, this movie will be Guganathan’s Dream Project.

(If you are one of those non-Tamil readers that reads this blog, the late MGR was an actor-turned-politician who ruled Tamil Nadu for a long time. And, dude, can you email Manoj and let him know where he can find hot pictures of hindi movie actresses?)

Here’s what Guganathan has to say about his movie:

One day MGR appeared in my dream, woke me up, and asked me if I had forgotten him.

The next day, I went to the MGR memorial and started meditating, when I had another dream. This time, I dreamt of Rajkiran sitting on the MGR memorial.

Naturally, I realized that the best lead man for my upcoming movie would be Rajkiran. And so I headed to Rajkiran’s house after a couple of days.

Rajkiran welcomed me in, and told me he knew I would come.

“How?,” I asked.

“Why, MGR appeared in my dream and told me you’d come,” he said.

Hmm. We have no doubts at all that the movie will establish Guganathan’s legacy as one of the top directors in the world. In his dreams, of course. And maybe even Rajkiran’s.

[Link to original story, in Tamil]

Hangin’ In There

Vallavan, starring SilverScreen mascots Nayanthara and Simbu has been in production for… like forever. And everyday, we hear things about the movie that make us lick our lips in anticipation…

Nayan has reportedly performed a scintillating dance number for which she was suspended in midair with the help of steel ropes. [Link]

Go back and read that again: Nayan.Suspended.MidAir.From.A.Mere.Chain. Now just where was this steel maker when the New Orleans levees were being constructed? I am placing an order for hurricane shutters from them right away. Florence, let’s see you break that defense!

It is not like when Nayan was hanging from the chain, Chimpu was idly gazing upwards – he was actually thinking pretty hard. Not many of you know this, but Indian movies don’t get Oscars mainly because the actors are shown smoking cheap cigarattes. Like at the Oscar’s last time, the camera zeroed in on Mammotty smoking a beedi, and the jury was like, “Hey, that’s cheap stuff. No Oscar for you.”

Clever man that he is, Simbu decided to redress the problem in Vallavan.

We also heard that Simbu would be seen smoking imported cigars in the movie, especially in the dance numbers. He has unleashed his own self in the larger than life sequences and is expecting the movie to do well. [Link]

When Vallavan gets that Oscar, you know where you heard it first.

Our Heart Sings For Ileana

Ever imagined what would happen if you saw Ileana and Mamta Mohandas on screen, in the same Telugu movie? Well, we can tell you, cos’ we have. Projector rooms would explode all over Andhra Pradesh, triggering a chain reaction that would culminate in a second Big Bang. Science, pure and simple.

While even we had given up on the idea, director Krishna Vamsi thought of something original (maybe a first for a desi director). He made Mamta sing playback for Ileana. Genius, Vamsi-garu. Now we know how you landed Ramya.

Krishna Vamsi is directing a film featuring NTR Jr and Ileana. The music is by Devisriprasad. He has given Mamta a song to sing and it will be picturised on Ileana. {Link}

So, can Mamta sing? Yes. She had extensive classical training under the tutelage of the great Chalakudi Bhagavathar and…actually No, we don’t know, and frankly, we don’t care. We just needed an excuse to post their photos…

Skirt Chasing

Know Nila? No?  Ok, here get to know her before we proceed.

When model Meera Chopra moved to Tamil films, she was rechristened Nila (The Moon) by director Surya (The Sun). Now at a recent film shoot, The Moon was supposed to run behind someone called Poochi (The Insect). And that’s what led her to experience the “scariest day in any human being’s life.”

The camera started running and as soon as the director uttered ‘Action’, Nila started chasing poochi. Out of the blue, a street dog appeared from nowhere and ran in chase of Nila – as is the characteristic of dogs. [Link]

Hmm… chasing hot women is a characteristic of dogs? Now why was the neighbor’s dog  after me all the frickin’ time? 

Nila obviously got frightened and ran faster crying her lungs out. The crew and the assistant director came to her rescue driving the dog out from the scene and rescuing the terrified Nila. She seemed to be in shock for half an hour and the shoots resumed after this hullabaloo.[Link]

In short, A Dog chasing The Moon that in turn was chasing The Insect. No wonder this is newsworthy.

When our reporter sought SJ Surya’s (remember him? The Sun) opinion on Nila being chased by strange creatures at film shoots, an angry Surya responded that he had stopped chasing her a long time back. Whatever, boss.

Strike a Pose

A long time ago, I sat down on National Highway 7, making burgers out of my ass on a rather hot day in the summer of ’98, and thought to myself – Was an engineering degree really worth all this? Supporting my fucked-up seniors in a cause that would have the Blank Noise Project reach for smelling salts (they propositioned girls, and when the management disapproved, they forced us juniors into a strike. Bravo, you bastards!). And my disillusionment doubled when I saw the Police Task Force van park a few feet away and out from it emerged two dozen uniformed cops brandishing shiny batons.

Question is – Did I get a movie deal out of it?
No.


Apparently, student strikes double as movie auditions these days. Are you 18, pretty and look good in a hazy photo? Then carry a placard and pose good for the photogs. You just might land a role in another crappy Sathish Kaushik movie. Bollywood, raise your voices and say – Inquilab Yamini.

Yamini got her dream offer from Kaushik after he saw her photo amidst the media coverage of the recent strike by students at MCM DAV College. Yamini was one of the students protesting the alleged slapping of a girl by a college professor. Link

Here’s what we think happened next. An emergency faculty meeting was called and Professor Slappy called for a vote on the best way to hit rock-bottom faster. The outcome of that meeting was released to the press.

College principal Puneet Bedi said, “The criteria has been set. Girls matching international modelling standards would be taken into consideration by a panel of experts, who will then help these girls contest in beauty pageants and venture forth for movie screen tests.” Link

I salute you, Ms.Bedi. It’s time we put those uggos in their place. Behind the placards that hide their face.

Man attacks Johar after watching KANK

Naah. That’s just wishful thinking. The man in question attacked his wife, and not because she made him take her to the movie, either. As you can see from the article [Link], the story behind the attempted murder’s very “mature”, or at least as mature as Mr. Johar thinks his movie is.

Vee Are Back

We were busy.

One of the authors was busy relocating from one end of the world to the other.

A second was moving from one end of the continent to the other.

Yet another from this end of his new couch to that.

But now we are all back. And soon, the updates will be too. Until then, clean your bathrooms or something.

Speech is silver: Catfight edition

To be a cricketer is a good thing. You get to do all sorts of inspirational stuff. Yuvraj Singh, for instance, recently inspired a cat fight. Read about it here.

But a key alleged participant in this alleged cat-fight denies the rumor. When asked about the fight, Shamita Shetty has responded with what we can only call cold hard logic:

I’m not a cat. I don’t indulge in cat-fights. [Link]

Further, she was unable to shed any light on the mystery finger, allegedly attached to Ms. Sharma, which also made an appearance at the venue:

There was certainly no finger shown by Kim at me. I don’t know whom she showed her finger to. But it sure as hell wasn’t me. [Link]

In other news, there seems to be another catfight brewing, this time between Ram Gopal Varma and Karan Johar. The first salvo was fired by Varma, who said he was looking forward to KANK because he loves horror films. Johar responded with:

When he has so much work on hand I wonder why he keeps obsessing with what I do! I know he doesn’t respect my work. But could he please keep quiet about what I do?” [Link]

Speech is Silver: Candid director edition

Following the overwhelming popularity of our last post featuring a candid celebrity [Link] interview, here’s a follow up. Raksha Mistry, who has co-directed the Emraan Hashmi starrer “The Killer”, may not be as much of a celebrity as Dhanush, but she is as just candid. [Link]

On the vital role played by the heroine, Nisha Kothari:

RM: We put her wherever we could, in songs mainly. We didn’t want to push her into the narration.

On why Ms. Kothari is not shy about wearing what she (barely) does, but draws the line at kissing:

Director to create “room” for kissing for Serial Kisser in upcoming movie

RM: That’s Indian actresses for you.

On the accusation that the movie is a copy of The Collateral:

RM: We don’t deny being inspired by “Collateral”. But we haven’t ripped off the original. You have to remember 80 percent of the audience hasn’t seen “Collateral”.

On Emraan’s not kissing the girl (although we’re not entirely sure who was more disappointed – the audience or Mahesh Bhatt):

RM: There were lots of arguments about the kiss between Mahesh Bhatt and Emraan Hashmi. Mr. Bhatt wanted the kiss, Emraan didn’t. The screenplay didn’t require a kiss. And we didn’t want to put it to please the audience. So we sided with Emraan.

On whether Emraan’s sworn off kissing for good:

RM: Emraan is in our next action thriller. Hopefully, there’ll be a room for a kiss. [Link]

Maddy’s got game

After successfully killing audiences all over Tamil Nadu and the world (let’s not forget the poor Non Resident Tamils) with performances in classics such as Priyasaki and Thambi, Madhavan finally pleased those same audiences when he got himself and his MIG killed on Rang de Basanti. Madhavan’s successful relationship with the MIG continues with a new cell phone game endorsed by the star and called Madhavan’s MIG! [Link]

Madhavan’s MIG appears to be a highly complicated and very demanding game. We asked Maddy to explain its intricacies:

Post RDB, Madhavan’s MIG flies on

“[It is a] series of lifestyle games. How a guy can date a girl and how he can take her out, or how a girl can date a guy? And they’ve signed me on exclusively. No other Indian actor has been signed for the game.”

An anonymous source told us that whoever solves the mystery of why no other Indian actor was signed for the game will get free tickets for Madhavan’s next ten movies (and now you know why our source wishes to remain anonymous).

SRK has nothing to do with this post. I put up this picture in response to reader complaints about the paucity of hunks on this blog. (not counting hosts Karthik & Manoj, of course) [Link]

Of bombshells and bathtubs

Puke alert: High.

Will she sink or float?

When you dunk a southern bombshell in water, will she sink or will she float? What if the bombshell is Mumtaz? What if the water is replaced by milk? And does the identity of the dunker matter?

Man of action and his floatation device?

If you are of a scientific persuasion, and spend many sleepless nights seeking answers to such burning questions, you are not alone. T. Rajender is with you. And unlike you, he doesn’t believe in sitting back and twiddling his thumbs. The man of action is, well, taking action. His new movie Veerasamy features a “kuthu number” in which the healthy item girl dunks herself in about 1000 litres of milk. We collectively hold our breath till August (when the movie is slated for release, more importantly, it helps with the nausea) to find out the answer to that eternal quest involving belles and their affinity for all things liquid. [Link]

Digest That, Readers

Mumbai’s rude. No, we didn’t say that, the Reader’s Digest did. Sadly enough, we never got our hands on that issue. We had ‘points to ponder’ (heh).

But the folks at RD probably never expected retaliation from the only remaining people who subscribe to their magazine – the Bollywood elite.

Madhavan, who gave new meaning to ‘Humor in Uniform’ in Rang De Basanti, retorted in classic randomness:

Either the writer in Readers Digest doesn’t understand the Marathi language or must have got stuck in the Mumbai rains or a Virar local. [Link]

Which, as we all know, are conditions that nullify any rudeness test.

Adnan Sami – Yeah, sure. Mumbai is the rudest city in the world?just as much as monkeys fly out of my butt. [Link]

Hard to say if he was going for sarcasm there. Not because he is from beyond the border, but because we strongly believe something does hide in his butt, and it could very well be a monkey or three.

Bachchan Sr. took a break from hamming activities to issue a statement too.

Amitabh Bachchan: “Rude? Says Who? On the contrary, it’s one of the most loving, giving, compassionate and endearing cities in the world.” Link

Yeah, except when doing voice-overs for gangsta flicks. Then it becomes the ruthless city that drinks your ‘khoon’ and leaves you for dead.

Bipasha Basu: …the love and the generous care of Mumbaikars for somebody like me who was a nobody kept me going. Link

Translated into man-talk, that means Mumbaikars, like everyone else in the world, love boobs.

Who can not love her? Or offer her generous care?

And finally, what’s a Bollywood ‘Quotable Quotes’ session without a little word play. It’s like Anupam Kher and Dino Morea share the same (much shattered) funny bone.

Anupam Kher: “Did Readers Digest really say that? Sorry we don’t digest.

Dino Morea: I can’t digest Reader’s Digest’s comment. [Link]

Such dazzling humor. You know what? We don’t know about Bombay topping the rude list, but it sure as hell ain’t topping the witty actor list.

Related post: Dino has bum chums

One more chick-flick

First it was Shabana Aazmi & Nandita Das. Then came Lisa Ray. Perizaad Zorabian is the latest to join the lesbian bandwagon. We hear she’s might soon be signing up to play a lesbian in ‘When Kiran met Karen’ to be directed by New Jersey based Manan Katohora [Link].

Note to our male readers: We regret to inform you that Ms. Ray and Ms. Zorabian are not in the same movie. Ms. Zorabian’s character is to have an affair with a Chinese woman. We plan to lobby for ladies (see Exhibits A and B). Other suggestions are welcome.

Perizaad to play a lesbian

Exhibit A: Zhiyi Zhang / Perizaad’s partner? [Picture courtesy Wikipedia]

Exhibit B: Gong Li / Perizaad’s partner?

Seldom Acts, Often Scares

Rumor has it that SilverScreen photo-op favorite, Ajithkumar was coerced into parting with his advance after he decided to step out of his next project – director Bala’s Naan Kadavul.

Reports in the vernacular press have been suggesting that Ajith was grilled by some henchmen reportedly sent by Bala after the actor refused to be part of Naan Kadavul.

Though Bala and Ajith both said that they have sorted out the differences between them mutually, reports of Ajith being threatened have created ripples in the industry. [Link]

Things are still murky on what really happened with that, but a new report suggests that Ajith will now “show Bala who he is” by “releasing a movie on the same day as Naan Kadavul.” [Link]

While that may not scare Bala, we are quite sure this will.

Please spare us Catman. Please. Please.

And here’s a little something to help y’all overcome the trauma…

Read More »

What’s On Their Feet?

While desi Mel Gibsons google for ‘Passions of Ramba‘, we at SS run complicated search scripts for ‘Bollywood Actress Fetishes’. And today, paydirt.

So, what is it that the girls have a fetish for?

Splurging on shoes and sandals is becoming infectious in the glam circuit. [Link]

Alright, so we like the fact that leather is involved, but only shoes? Celina Jailtey has a thousand pairs, while Udita Goswami tells us why it’s a bad idea to invite her over to your place.

“I have developed a strange habit of collecting a sandal from any new place I visit….A particular style not just adds variety to my footwear collection but reminds me of my visit to the place also.” [Link]

Remember Celina Jaitley’s wardrobe, Udita?

Read More »

Eleventh reason to not watch Dasavatharam

Through tipster d.n.a, we learn that Himesh Reshammiya will score the music for Dasavatharam, the K.S. Ravikumar movie that has Kamalhassan doing ten roles.

Himesh is Bollywood?s hottest music director and a craze with the youth. He has been signed by producer Oscar Ravichandran for his prestigious Kamal Hassan big budget film Dasavatharam to be directed by K.S.Ravikumar. [Link]

What this means is that Dasavatharam will be like Thenali with bad music. Hmm. When do advance bookings open for Shivaji again?

Get out after one, please.

Beautiful and takes direction

Ileana is truly a director’s actress. This highly professional young artist was happy to do as many takes as it took (if you’ll pardon the pun) to get a suicide scene right. She was asked to swallow lots of pills. She did so. She was asked to swallow lots of pills again. She complied. And so on and so forth till perfection was achieved.

The only hitch – the director forgot to instruct the lady that it was all a pretense – she wasn’t actually supposed to swallow those pills! Ileana had to have her stomach washed* to get rid of all those nasty vitamins. (Silverscreen convyes its gratitude to the props team who either remembered that this was just a movie, or had had the uncanny foresight to use vitamin pills instead of whatever pills get used in real suicides.)

[Link]

*A reminder to our male readers: this stomach washing in no way involves any of the following: waterfalls, bikinis, soap suds, steaming showers with transparent shower curtains.

Silver Is Speechless in Malayalam

‘Tis the season for Southern Superstars to play dress up. Close on the heels of Rajinikanth prancing around in a blonde wig in Spain, Malayalam SuperStar Mammootty prances around in a tight football costume to promote his latest movie among football crazy fans. [Through Sify]

Even a Ileana couldn’t have saved this one.

Mammootty standing still for the Portugese National Anthem

At least we could look at Shriya in the Rajinikanth photos…