Have you heard of this TV show called Bigg Boss? The show, we are told, has had Rakhi Sawant on it, along with Kashmira Shah and a person called Amit and another person called Ravi. An A-list cast, although we can’t figure out why they missed out Meghana Naidu and Nayantara.
This show, which-I-have-never-watched-so-hold-your-sympathy, appears to have some type of voting thing going on, and sometime in the recent past, Rakhi Sawant was voted off it due to an altercation with Amit over something both of them had absolutely no right over.
There was only one fight with Amit. He started it and I ended it. I had a favourite cup, which had the words ‘the world’s sexiest woman’ inscribed on it. In the morning, I realised somebody had used my cup. I got angry, so I broke it.
I told Kashmira (Shah), and she told me to fight for my rights. I asked Amit why he used my cup. [Link]
Excuse my ignorance, but why is Rakhi not in jail yet for stealing that cup from Mamta Mohandas? I mean, why was she even allowed in the general vicinity of the cup? And why is Kashmira free to roam the streets when she is such an obvious accomplice to a heinous crime?
And Amit, although I admit you probably have a (marginally) better claim than Rakhi to that cup, you had no business drinking from it. None at all. Bad girl.
Ashutosh Gowriker wants you all to know that he is a strong, strong man. Strongly denying rumors that he had fainted on the sets of his movie Jodha Akbar, Ashutosh said:
“First of all it wasn’t me. I’m hale and hearty. And a very strong guy. It will take more than the hot climate to shrivel me down…” [Link]
Now we certainly knew he was a strong guy when he managed to survive the fall from the heights of Lagaan to the depths of Swades, but it always helps to have people clarify things.
S*ardonic even managed to get the opinion of Southern Star Abbas on this. Here is the video:
PS: Alright, the interview is fake. As fake as the “Southern Star” title is.
Riya Sen, in conversation with the Hindustan Times, declares:
“You know I take lot of interest in sexy men. If I find someone really worth seducing, I don’t leave the opportunity. But it happens the other way too. Loads of young guys die for me. There has been unlimited number of proposals to me till now. ” [Link]
No, wait. Traumatizing as that may sound, that’s not why we are disappointed. Read on, as she adds:
“There are times when this popularity has become so much of a problem for me. I have to handle the situation carefully at such times. There have been several occasions when I have to tackle people who unnecessary get close to me or look into my clothes,”… [Link]
From this statement, it appears to us that Riya Sen actually wears clothes sometimes. But try as we did, we just couldn’t find any evidence of it on the internets. Unless you count towels and underwear… which brings us to the world… Wow, people lie, don’t they?
No one can accuse Ajith Kumar of playing the same roles over and over again. Take this example – only a movie ago, he played a beautiful nautch girl, and in his next movie, he’s all set to play Billa! [Link]
Yes, you heard right, Rajini fans. Ajith is the new Billa. We hear Ajith even got the go ahead from the original Billa, with a small caveat. “I’d go easy on the mascara, if I were you,” were the Superstar’s wise words.
To make a Rajini movie as a remake takes guts and strength of character. And Ajith has shown that he has it in him. [Link]
Hmm.. guts. Now if they had said that last year, we’d have agreed with them wholeheartedly, but right now, we think Namitha would make for a gutsier Billa.
Silverscreen now has a new home. Please update your bookmarks.
Velu Prabhakaran is the type of filmmaker that makes sure all his movies carry Profound Messages.
A few years ago Velu made a movie called God ( “Kadavul” ). Nothing extraordinary there, except that the movie was meant to promote atheism. We don’t have exact numbers, but the movie managed to convert several deeply religious people into hardcore atheists, with the most frequently heard refrain being, “If there was a God, there’s no way he’d have let that movie hit the theaters.”
Thus encouraged by the success of God, Velu started working on his next movie which he chose to call Love Arena ( “Kadhal Arangam”) for reasons best known to him. The movie is ready for release now and as always it carries a message. Here’s Velu, in his own words:
My message is for the next generation. Here’s what I want my movie to tell them. Men have boobs just like women do. But women have some extra stuff going on in that area, so their boobs appear fleshier. That’s it. So I want the next generation to ignore boobs. [Link, subscription required]
Wow, I bet none of you knew that. Poor Velu is having trouble selling his movie to the censors – who never seem to understand such messages anyway – but I am totally sold.
The minute this movie hits the theaters, I am going. I’ll then look at the heroine’s breasts on screen and ignore them completely. You guys should do the same thing too. We owe it to the man.
Nagesh Kukunoor has made a new film – ‘Dor‘. His movies don’t exactly have the masses beating a path to the theaters, as MSN India takes much pains to tell us:
‘Dor’ caters to a niche audience. It seems, Kukunoor has targeted his film for an audience that’s not in the majority. Although handled with utmost sensitivity, you cannot close your eyes to the fact that the execution of the material would appeal to a tiny segment of viewers. And also the Festival circuit. [Link]
The next time they want to write articles that appear to be well, long, why don’t they simply increase font size or line spacing instead? Worked for me in college and it’s faster.
If you ever get around to reading the rest of that article, do let us know what else they said about the movie. Rants apart, we’re glad that there’s a new Kukunoor movie to watch.
V.C. Guganathan has been in the movie business for a long time, and now he is worried about his legacy. Since the easiest way to achieve lasting fame is by making your dream movie, Guganathan will soon direct a movie called Ithu MGR Illam (“This is the house of MGR”). And like we stated earlier, this movie will be Guganathan’s Dream Project.
(If you are one of those non-Tamil readers that reads this blog, the late MGR was an actor-turned-politician who ruled Tamil Nadu for a long time. And, dude, can you email Manoj and let him know where he can find hot pictures of hindi movie actresses?)
Here’s what Guganathan has to say about his movie:
One day MGR appeared in my dream, woke me up, and asked me if I had forgotten him.
The next day, I went to the MGR memorial and started meditating, when I had another dream. This time, I dreamt of Rajkiran sitting on the MGR memorial.
Naturally, I realized that the best lead man for my upcoming movie would be Rajkiran. And so I headed to Rajkiran’s house after a couple of days.
Rajkiran welcomed me in, and told me he knew I would come.
“How?,” I asked.
“Why, MGR appeared in my dream and told me you’d come,” he said.
Hmm. We have no doubts at all that the movie will establish Guganathan’s legacy as one of the top directors in the world. In his dreams, of course. And maybe even Rajkiran’s.
Vallavan, starring SilverScreen mascots Nayanthara and Simbu has been in production for… like forever. And everyday, we hear things about the movie that make us lick our lips in anticipation…
Nayan has reportedly performed a scintillating dance number for which she was suspended in midair with the help of steel ropes. [Link]
Go back and read that again: Nayan.Suspended.MidAir.From.A.Mere.Chain. Now just where was this steel maker when the New Orleans levees were being constructed? I am placing an order for hurricane shutters from them right away. Florence, let’s see you break that defense!
It is not like when Nayan was hanging from the chain, Chimpu was idly gazing upwards – he was actually thinking pretty hard. Not many of you know this, but Indian movies don’t get Oscars mainly because the actors are shown smoking cheap cigarattes. Like at the Oscar’s last time, the camera zeroed in on Mammotty smoking a beedi, and the jury was like, “Hey, that’s cheap stuff. No Oscar for you.”
Clever man that he is, Simbu decided to redress the problem in Vallavan.
We also heard that Simbu would be seen smoking imported cigars in the movie, especially in the dance numbers. He has unleashed his own self in the larger than life sequences and is expecting the movie to do well. [Link]
When Vallavan gets that Oscar, you know where you heard it first.
Ever imagined what would happen if you saw Ileana and Mamta Mohandas on screen, in the same Telugu movie? Well, we can tell you, cos’ we have. Projector rooms would explode all over Andhra Pradesh, triggering a chain reaction that would culminate in a second Big Bang. Science, pure and simple.
While even we had given up on the idea, director Krishna Vamsi thought of something original (maybe a first for a desi director). He made Mamta sing playback for Ileana. Genius, Vamsi-garu. Now we know how you landed Ramya.
Krishna Vamsi is directing a film featuring NTR Jr and Ileana. The music is by Devisriprasad. He has given Mamta a song to sing and it will be picturised on Ileana. {Link}
So, can Mamta sing? Yes. She had extensive classical training under the tutelage of the great Chalakudi Bhagavathar and…actually No, we don’t know, and frankly, we don’t care. We just needed an excuse to post their photos…
Know Nila? No? Ok, here get to know her before we proceed.
When model Meera Chopra moved to Tamil films, she was rechristened Nila (The Moon) by director Surya (The Sun). Now at a recent film shoot, The Moon was supposed to run behind someone called Poochi (The Insect). And that’s what led her to experience the “scariest day in any human being’s life.”
The camera started running and as soon as the director uttered ‘Action’, Nila started chasing poochi. Out of the blue, a street dog appeared from nowhere and ran in chase of Nila – as is the characteristic of dogs. [Link]
Hmm… chasing hot women is a characteristic of dogs? Now why was the neighbor’s dog after me all the frickin’ time?
Nila obviously got frightened and ran faster crying her lungs out. The crew and the assistant director came to her rescue driving the dog out from the scene and rescuing the terrified Nila. She seemed to be in shock for half an hour and the shoots resumed after this hullabaloo.[Link]
In short, A Dog chasing The Moon that in turn was chasing The Insect. No wonder this is newsworthy.
When our reporter sought SJ Surya’s (remember him? The Sun) opinion on Nila being chased by strange creatures at film shoots, an angry Surya responded that he had stopped chasing her a long time back. Whatever, boss.
A long time ago, I sat down on National Highway 7, making burgers out of my ass on a rather hot day in the summer of ‘98, and thought to myself – Was an engineering degree really worth all this? Supporting my fucked-up seniors in a cause that would have the Blank Noise Project reach for smelling salts (they propositioned girls, and when the management disapproved, they forced us juniors into a strike. Bravo, you bastards!). And my disillusionment doubled when I saw the Police Task Force van park a few feet away and out from it emerged two dozen uniformed cops brandishing shiny batons.
Question is – Did I get a movie deal out of it?
No.
Apparently, student strikes double as movie auditions these days. Are you 18, pretty and look good in a hazy photo? Then carry a placard and pose good for the photogs. You just might land a role in another crappy Sathish Kaushik movie. Bollywood, raise your voices and say – Inquilab Yamini.
Yamini got her dream offer from Kaushik after he saw her photo amidst the media coverage of the recent strike by students at MCM DAV College. Yamini was one of the students protesting the alleged slapping of a girl by a college professor. Link
Here’s what we think happened next. An emergency faculty meeting was called and Professor Slappy called for a vote on the best way to hit rock-bottom faster. The outcome of that meeting was released to the press.
College principal Puneet Bedi said, “The criteria has been set. Girls matching international modelling standards would be taken into consideration by a panel of experts, who will then help these girls contest in beauty pageants and venture forth for movie screen tests.” Link
I salute you, Ms.Bedi. It’s time we put those uggos in their place. Behind the placards that hide their face.
Naah. That’s just wishful thinking. The man in question attacked his wife, and not because she made him take her to the movie, either. As you can see from the article [Link], the story behind the attempted murder’s very “mature”, or at least as mature as Mr. Johar thinks his movie is.
To be a cricketer is a good thing. You get to do all sorts of inspirational stuff. Yuvraj Singh, for instance, recently inspired a cat fight. Read about it here.
But a key alleged participant in this alleged cat-fight denies the rumor. When asked about the fight, Shamita Shetty has responded with what we can only call cold hard logic:
I’m not a cat. I don’t indulge in cat-fights. [Link]
Further, she was unable to shed any light on the mystery finger, allegedly attached to Ms. Sharma, which also made an appearance at the venue:
There was certainly no finger shown by Kim at me. I don’t know whom she showed her finger to. But it sure as hell wasn’t me. [Link]
In other news, there seems to be another catfight brewing, this time between Ram Gopal Varma and Karan Johar. The first salvo was fired by Varma, who said he was looking forward to KANK because he loves horror films. Johar responded with:
When he has so much work on hand I wonder why he keeps obsessing with what I do! I know he doesn’t respect my work. But could he please keep quiet about what I do?” [Link]
Following the overwhelming popularity of our last post featuring a candid celebrity [Link] interview, here’s a follow up. Raksha Mistry, who has co-directed the Emraan Hashmi starrer “The Killer”, may not be as much of a celebrity as Dhanush, but she is as just candid. [Link]
On the vital role played by the heroine, Nisha Kothari:
RM: We put her wherever we could, in songs mainly. We didn’t want to push her into the narration.
On why Ms. Kothari is not shy about wearing what she (barely) does, but draws the line at kissing:
Director to create “room” for kissing for Serial Kisser in upcoming movie
RM: That’s Indian actresses for you.
On the accusation that the movie is a copy of The Collateral:
RM: We don’t deny being inspired by “Collateral”. But we haven’t ripped off the original. You have to remember 80 percent of the audience hasn’t seen “Collateral”.
On Emraan’s not kissing the girl (although we’re not entirely sure who was more disappointed – the audience or Mahesh Bhatt):
RM: There were lots of arguments about the kiss between Mahesh Bhatt and Emraan Hashmi. Mr. Bhatt wanted the kiss, Emraan didn’t. The screenplay didn’t require a kiss. And we didn’t want to put it to please the audience. So we sided with Emraan.
On whether Emraan’s sworn off kissing for good:
RM: Emraan is in our next action thriller. Hopefully, there’ll be a room for a kiss. [Link]
After successfully killing audiences all over Tamil Nadu and the world (let’s not forget the poor Non Resident Tamils) with performances in classics such as Priyasaki and Thambi, Madhavan finally pleased those same audiences when he got himself and his MIG killed on Rang de Basanti. Madhavan’s successful relationship with the MIG continues with a new cell phone game endorsed by the star and called Madhavan’s MIG! [Link]
Madhavan’s MIG appears to be a highly complicated and very demanding game. We asked Maddy to explain its intricacies:
Post RDB, Madhavan’s MIG flies on
“[It is a] series of lifestyle games. How a guy can date a girl and how he can take her out, or how a girl can date a guy? And they’ve signed me on exclusively. No other Indian actor has been signed for the game.”
An anonymous source told us that whoever solves the mystery of why no other Indian actor was signed for the game will get free tickets for Madhavan’s next ten movies (and now you know why our source wishes to remain anonymous).
SRK has nothing to do with this post. I put up this picture in response to reader complaints about the paucity of hunks on this blog. (not counting hosts Karthik & Manoj, of course) [Link]
When you dunk a southern bombshell in water, will she sink or will she float? What if the bombshell is Mumtaz? What if the water is replaced by milk? And does the identity of the dunker matter?
Man of action and his floatation device?
If you are of a scientific persuasion, and spend many sleepless nights seeking answers to such burning questions, you are not alone. T. Rajender is with you. And unlike you, he doesn’t believe in sitting back and twiddling his thumbs. The man of action is, well, taking action. His new movie Veerasamy features a “kuthu number” in which the healthy item girl dunks herself in about 1000 litres of milk. We collectively hold our breath till August (when the movie is slated for release, more importantly, it helps with the nausea) to find out the answer to that eternal quest involving belles and their affinity for all things liquid. [Link]
Still think of 
