Hot Guy challenges Superman

Someone asks Hrithik Roshan

A week after Krrish releases, Superman Returns will hit screens in India and worldwide. Is there any fear of having the icon of superheroes as competition?

A truthful response would have been – Yes, I am scared. What was I thinking?

But instead, he breaks it down for us.

There is absolutely no fear and no need to fear. There are only two things that can happen. Both are positive. In one scenario we may be motivated to do greater special effects for our next film and get to learn something from Superman. It may point out our mistakes and follies.

On the other hand it (Krrish) may match up and do better and it will be an acknowledgment of our hard work. It will make us feel victorious and be a matter of exhilaration. [Link]

Hrithik, you play a singing/dancing superhero. The only way you can match up or do better is if they ranked you based on ‘How Gay Can a Superhero Get?’. And considering some of the rumors circling the latest Superman edition, they might actually pay you for the diversion.

No, not gay at all.

PS: We apologize for the typo that crept into the title of this post.

Sweat’s the Secret

Have you ever wondered how all these girls can kiss this dude called Emraan Hashmi and not gag? Well, wonder no more. Apparently,

Most sex sirens believe it’s important to fantasise about your beau while giving lip service to other men. [Link]

In other words,

Lights, cameras and locations are just an added advantage but dreaming of your real life lover can do the job. [Link]

Stated otherwise,

If you think real, you can produce real. Think about someone you feel hot about and then you don’t need to make an effort in turning passionate. [Link]

Translated into normal English, this means that if you want to kiss someone you don’t really want to, you can make “the job” easier by thinking about someone else.

Here’s Mona Chopra, paraphrasing it for us.

While locking lips with my co-actor I can generate so much passion that it becomes difficult to make out that I am acting. Everyone thinks it’s some real hot scene going on. Even my director and crew get surprised to see that most of my kiss scenes get a green signal in the very first take. The key to this perfection is the image that I bring to my mind while smooching my co-star. I always keep the picture of my man before my eyes and imagine that I am kissing him. There is no need to feel uncomfortable about anything after that. Once you shut your eyes and think of your dream man then all the emotions start flowing naturally… [Link]

Mona, naturally. (Pic through cinegoer.com)

To reiterate, think of hot man, turn lights and cameras on and let it fly. Sweaty siren Udita Goswami has some specific advice on the type of hot man that will help.

Unless you give hundred per cent to a shot, you can’t make it look genuine. So, the right way is to have the man in your mind who makes you sweat at first sight and then you can smooch your co-star perfectly. [Link]

I wish we’d known this earlier: The secret to a great kiss is to think of a person who makes you all sweaty. We knew bosses were good for something ..

Stop Gloating Dude. She’s kissing someone else right now.

Related posts: Cruel and Unusual Punishment, A Crippling Composer, Chokher Bali Is Just A Veil, Metamorphosis, You Go Girl!

Poetry On Screen

Poetry.com is this online portal where wannabe poets make you chortle with word-puke. In fact, if I re-arranged that last sentence with inappropriate punctuation, I just might have a crappy poem to my name.

Poetry.com is,
this online,
portal,
Where wannabe poets,
make you,
chortle,
With, Word-
Puke.

See, quite easy. In fact, so easy that Kamalinee Mukherjee gave it a shot. Kama-whama-who-ji, you ask? That would be Kamal-Hassan’s latest kissing partner in the upcoming Vettiayaadu Velaiyaadu, and the heroine of sleeper hit Telugu movie, Anand.

Tell us about your poems?

I wrote three poems (Thoughts, Confusion and Solitude) for a website called poetry.com before signing Anand film. [Link]

Go ahead, call us insensitive jerks. Tell us how refreshing it is to discover there are actresses who can actually write “quagmire of despondency”. Point taken, but why poetry? Why not just a 500-word essay about the “quagmire of despondency” the film industry has plunged into? Or Sun Music compering? Or Poetry.com?

But why? Yendhukku?

lying in fields of yellow poppies….
intoxicated by the realisation of you…
its in the very core of me…..
a primivial longing in my heartbeats….
but like the mirage in burning deserts….

All of her “poetry”

  1. Thoughts
  2. Feelings
  3. Confusion

PS: We are not sure if this Zinta is the Zinta, but if someone could comfirm, we’ll feel better knowing we didn’t laugh at an impostor.

Here’s a Kamalinee picture – the reason you clicked on this post.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Once upon a time, Bobby Darling – television actor who underwent a sex change recently – was friends with Riya Sen. She and Riya would hang out a lot, and Riya loved her so much that she couldn’t stay without her for a minute.

So when Riya went to Indore, she took Bobby along with her, presumably to spend some quality time with a close friend. Bobby though had other ideas: she wanted to go sightseeing.

“Riya once took me to Indore as her companion, as I wanted to do some sightseeing.

There was a sightseeing tour, but she didn’t want to go out or let me go either. When she saw that I was keen to go, she offered me a vitamin tablet and said it was for good health…” [Link]

Who can refuse a yummy little vitamin tablet, right? A colored one, at that.

After consuming the coloured tablet, Bobby was knocked out and woke up only eight hours later. [Link]

“I never sleep at that time, and that too for eight hours straight. I realised that something was up. Also by the time I woke up, we’d missed our sightseeing trip.

That’s when Riya told me that instead of a vitamin pill, she’d given me a sleeping tablet instead. However she didn’t mix it in alcohol.” [Link]

Thank God for small mercies. Coming to think of it, Bobby must be thankful for a lot more.What if Riya had been a mean, scheming shrew and force fed her choice scenes from Taj Mahal instead of force feeding her colored tablets? At least the sleeping tablet wore off…

Riya, benevolent brat.

Related posts: A Crippling Composer, Koena’s Travails, Chokher Bali Is Just A Veil, Metamorphosis

Bearding The Broad

Nayan, you are my world. I’ll give you anything you want.

Anything at all?

Of course, ask and ye shall get it.

Well nothing big for today. I’ve always wondered about how I’d look with one of them goatees.

Goatee?

Yes, goatee.

Ok, here you go. Photographer, make sure you get that.

Makeshift Goatee. Picture courtesy, vikatan.com

Shamelessly lifted from an IM conversation with Manoj.

Related posts: When The Behind comes out ahead…., A Tongue In Teeth Romance, Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

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Expanding Horizons

The Telugu horror movie Nuvvosthanante Nenodhantana (If you want to come, why would I say no?) that had Siddharth and Trisha in the lead is now being remade in Kannada. The Kannada version is titled Neenello Naanalle, and stars someone called Anirudh and Rakshita. [Link]

Trisha, Rakshita

The choice of Rakshita makes it clear that the Kannada director wants to umm.. expand on the original and create a Horror of Horrors with wide appeal. Lending much credence to this theory is the person playing the male lead.

What is scarier: Anirudh or the Sickle?

We never thought we’d say this, but we’ll take Siddharth over this any day. Hmm… on second thought, we’ll revise that to say we’ll take Siddharth over this on most days.

Related post: Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

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Speech is silver: Young hero editon

Reader Bart points us to a live chat with Dhanush, the star of the recently released Pudhupettai. We aren’t too sure if he is being disarmingly honest, or just plain arrogant. We love his comments on Namita, Vijay and Ajith, but we’ll leave the rest to you.

On his father-in-law, aka the identity-munching no-good blond actor (OK, so he didn’t mention the blond part – minor oversight, surely), Dhanush says:

Q: how does it feel to be the son-in-law of the world’s greatest hero – Rajnikanth!

Dhanush: wierd…

Q: What difference you feel professionally after marrying Superstar’s Daughter

Dhanush: i lost my identity…

Q: do you have aspirations of becoming the next super star after Rajni?

Dhanush: nope, i wanna go beyond that…

Q: How can we compare Amithabachan and Rajinikanth?

Dhanush: cant compare, amitabh i sa little better than him, i guess, hope my rajini does nt see this

On his leading ladies, er, chechis:

Q: u and sneha formed a very good pair

Dhanush: u think so? don u think she s little older for me?

Q: Dhanush-Sneha pair 100% perfect.

Dhanush: sneha and i don match….plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Q: Can namitha act as ur heroine? hahaha

Dhanush: i ll look like her two yr old son

On his looks

Q: Do you think that good looks is essential to become a hero in Tamil cinema?

Dhanush: did n u see my films?

An obvious Dhanush fan: I have got this major crush on you, man!

Dhanush: really? u shud really see a doctor

And the competition:

Q: Comments on Vijay and Ajith..pls

Dhanush: to be frank…i think both of them shud work on thier acting skills

Hat tip – Bart [Link]

Lisa makes the right choice

When I get a haircut, people point and laugh. And when I grow my hair long, people point and laugh longer. My point is, I wish I was Lisa Ray. Did that sound weird? I meant to say, I wish I could pull off a Lisa Ray.

I watched ‘Water‘ a few months back, but not until I read reviews did I realize she had played a Hindu widow in that. Damn, and to think I made a remark during the movie that more girls should go for her “look”. And do I even need to describe how she looks like with long hair? What do you think made Nusrat go all ape-shit with alaaps in Afreeen?

And now, we hear she is playing a lesbian in a Shamim Sarif movie.

The author of award-winning ‘The World Unseen’ is all set to direct a film Can’t Think Straight’, which will star none other than Water nymph Lisa Ray as a le(s)bian. Link

We have no idea who Shamim Sarif is, but god bless her soul. We wish she would write to us so we could suggest a few names to play Lisa’s co-star. Actually, just one name. And then when I say, I wish I was Lisa Ray, it wouldn’t sound so weird.

A Crippling Composer

Himesh Reshammiya, the popular (snicker) Hindi composer answers a few questions from The Outlook, providing us a window into the workings of His incredible mind.

Your stubble-and-cap look is getting rather predictable, isn’t it?

I agree.

And yet, why are you popular?

Because God wants me to be.

So, the secret of your success is…

God. [Link]

Wait. Hold off on expressing your admiration for the man until you read the next question.

Are you just a passing flavour?

From my first song to my 28th hit, from Tere Naam, the largest-selling album in the last 10 years, to all the jury and popular awards, from the pure classical raag-based film album Benares to the semi-classical Tere Naam or the rocking young tracks in Aashique Banaya Aapne, Aksar, China Town, Tom, Dick and Harry, Phir Hera Pheri, Humraaz, Aitraaz, Janaabe Aali, Niqamma, Mohabbat Hai Mirchi–I’m being called a passing flavour?

So, what are you?

A passing flavour, perhaps… [Link]

Such blinding wit. Throw in the deafeningly good voice, and the mind numbing music – and you got a killer musician on your hands. Thank goodness our feet can still run.

Hottie here. Sudha, are you happy now?

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition, Metamorphosis, Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, You Go Girl!, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

Speech is silver: Of bears and chimps

We are aware that folks in the movie business are known to suffer from narcissism, but this is surely taking things a bit too far. We’re too shaken to make snarky comments and leave it to our readers to make up their own.

When asked to play the Chimp’s father in a movie, the Bear had this to say:
“Stop…stop…I am father to Simbu only in real life not in reel life. In reel life, I am still a top hero who commands crores of money as salary…Even if you dump billions on me, I won’t act as a father. Even to Simbu….!” [Link]

Hat tip: KP

Everyone do the ‘Stomp and Point’

I know some of you are still recovering from Jithan Ramesh’s verbal volley. So maybe this is too soon, and may even scar some of you for life. But we have an obligation to share it. We really do, or there’s no saying what Balayya might do. Stomp on the internet maybe and annihilate our blog?

We profusely thank youtube user satssomu for hosting this classic. Really really profusely.
Also check out another gem from the ever dependable ‘Gaapten‘.

Kambakth coke.

Fardeen Khan is not a man who says no to drugs. But he is capable of saying – not too much. He has been charged with possession of cocaine, but wants to make it clear that he was buying one gram only, not nine! And taking the drug-dealer-addict relationship to whole new levels, he even asked his dealer to vouch for him.

Fardeen’s peddler, Nasir Abdul Karim Khan in a statement, has backed Fardeen’s claim by saying that he planned to sell only one gram of the contraband to the actor and remaining eight grams were meant for some other buyer. [Link]

Serial Kisser stops kissing, threatens to strip.

PUKE ALERT: HIGH, REALLY HIGH

Emraan Hashmi, Bollywood’s Serial Kisser, has stunned the industry by announcing that he has given up kissing. He stood by this new resolution even in the face of considerable temptation. See Exhibit A. We understand that Exhibit A was as stunned as we are to hear the news.

“Nisha rolled over and waited and waited for the kiss… but it didn’t happen! She looked stunned and couldn’t figure out what happened.” [Link]

Exhibit A: Nisha Kothari in a daze after Emran Hashmi didn’t kiss her.

As wonderful as this news is, Silver Screen advises its readers not to bring out the champagne just yet. After all, kissing is just for amateurs. And Hashmi is the consummate professional. This is what he says he will do, if people ask him explicitly enough that is.

When asked if he would refuse if directors ask him to kiss, he replied: “If they ask me to run naked, I have to! I have to be clear about what they want.” [Link]

Exhibit B: Ex-serial kisser, soon-to-be-stripper says chee-chee to kissing

Punch Me Instead. Please.

Madhu is a new Tamil movie starring Priya Mani and Ramesh, an up and coming star who is the son of a really rich producer. Reviews have described the movie as “leaving the audience feel desensitized and dehydrated,” but it is quite educational in our opinion. We’ve always struggled to explain the concept of a “punch dialog” to our wide international audience, but Madhu comes to our rescue with this scene, entirely in English.

Girl teases a boy. Boy responds by approaching the girl, and kissing her in public while the camera looks elsewhere. After the kiss, boy speaks.

Video hosted at Youtube…

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition, Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

Cell Phone Stories

She says her mobile phone is bombarded with SMS messages and you could guess what kind of messages they would be. Passes at her, proposals for dates and dinners or plain romantic mush.

Even someone with half-a-brain would start guessing – The Rai woman? Our poster-girl Ileana? Kaavya Vishwanathan complaining about “unknown calls” from Chennai? Or Celina Jaitley, who recently renounced mobile communications?

I (Celina) don’t like to use my cell phone when I’m at work; I think it’s very disturbing. In fact, I don’t even carry my phone on my shoots. [Link]

Wrong. Why would anyone ever make a pass at Ileana? And have you seen Aishwarya lately? And Celina…prancing about in her mini skirts & skimpy bikinis. *puke*

No, this is closer to home (if you live in Kodambakkam). This is what sultry seductress Gopika has to go through everyday. That’s right, I said Gopika. And the messages do not just originate from the phones of adolescent boys captivated by this Mallu chechi.

She also says,”there are several actors who have sent me such messages, but I won’t tell their names as my career is at stake. [Link]

Gopika and her bindi in another trend-setting outfit

I admit it, my first thought was – what career? But I guess I’m also curious about what actor. I mean seriously dude – If you’re going to be a pathetic sleaze, at least raise your bar. Contact us and we’ll let you have Trisha’s number for a bit part in your next movie. Oh! you thought only you could be pathetic?

……….

Speaking of cellphones, someone sent Ex-MP and Why-Actor, Sarath Kumar an obscene SMS. Link

Sir, the person who sent the message would like to clarify that Sperm* is actually SMS speak for ‘Supreme Star’.

Couple Watches Fanaa, Commits Suicide

The Hindustan Times Tabloid – our reliable news source of the day – reports that police are trying to determine if a recent accident in New Delhi could’ve been a suicide in disguise. At least, that’s what we think the report says… it is mostly a series of commas punctuated by the occasional word.

The recent Honda burning case, in the capital, has left everyone in a state of tizzy. Mystery shrouds as to whether it was God, who fulfilled the desire of lovebirds to end their lives together, whose charred bodies were found inside a totally burnt Honda City car few backs. [Link]

But here is what interests us the most. Apparently, the last thing the couple did was watch Fanaa.

The suicide note dated May 24 further revealed their plan to go and see the much-hyped movie Fanaa on Sunday (May 28) and further states that it is only God who knows what would happen next. [Link]

We shudder to think what they would’ve done if they’d watched Garam Masala instead. (And thank you so much for not mentioning Neal ‘N’ Nikki in our presence.)

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Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?

We hear that the pride and joy of Tamil cinema is about to do a French movie! [Link]

Just think of the infinite ways French society is about to benefit – for starters, what they’re about to learn in terms of Fashion alone is surely worth his weight in conflict diamonds! No more boring pin stripes, and white shirts. If you have any hopes of making it in the fashion business repeat this to yourself at least 50 times a day, “Orange is the new black!” and let’s not forget that there’s so much you can do with hair.

And ladies, when you accompany a well-dressed man of the world, please get a grip on yourself! Monochrome is so last year – this year, it’s Multichrome, baby! And if you can throw on a wig, we promise you’ll be throwing telephones in no time at all. [Link]

Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition

Arya, newest hunk to grace Tamil Filmdom, talks to Kumudam.

Eight memorable incidents from your life…

5. Getting caught cheating in high school.

Name nine women you’d love to date?

2. Kaavya Viswanathan.

What a well read hunk! And what a great pair these two would make… Obviously, they will never cheat on each other, and (equally obviously) they’ll produce some very ethical kids.

Talk about matches made in heaven…

Pooja, who is Arya?s heroine in his next movie. If you want Arya pictures, look for them yourself.

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, You Go Girl!, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

Artistic Settings Are Very Horny On The Sets Of Sivaji

GreatAndhra.com is quite possibly our favorite news source. While several publications have published pictures of a blonde Rajinikanth and a blonder Shriya romping around in Spain, only GreatAndhra bothered to let us know just how aroused the “artistic settings” at the shooting spot were.

The huge erections of artistic settings, gigantic cranes, troupes of dancers from Britain were circled in the surroundings of the shooting spot turning the heads of all the people living nearby. [Link]

Who can resist a good peek at a horny prop? Is it any wonder then that Shriya started to respond?

Shriya accompanied him with her new gesticulations. [Link]

Nice.

Related post: Silver is Speechless

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